Viva Las Vegas!

Got up early this morning to do try to do a week's worth of posts since we are going out of town. So much to talk about. So little time. Jeff & I are headed to Vegas today for a long, romantic, and fun weekend. Our last official couple vacation before baby....they call it a "Baby Moon". Staying at The Venetian. So pretty..always wanted to stay there.

I am not taking my laptop and will quite possibly have withdrawal! I will have my phone with me if anyone wants to email, but I probably won't write much until we get back. Have a great weekend! 

Pink Fever

Piggy Puppet that oinks! Will will take this with us when we go to Thailand.

Cute little sponge for bath time. (Didn't I say somewhere I am obsessed with pink piggies?)

Rocking horse that I actually found at the Rite Aid! (I can shop ANYWHERE. It's a blessing and a curse! LOL)

What We Know

Well, our agency is back from Thailand, but wasn't able to find out anything about our girl this trip. I don't know why and was VERY disappointed, but I guess they were very busy with all the new kids Wacap was able to see, so they couldn't discuss our case. I have to believe they had good reason for it, but I was bummed because this means we just sit and wait now until Dec or Jan for our referral to come in. And for those that don't know what that means, it is our official paperwork saying yes, she is yours and you will travel soon. However, after that referral you still have to wait approx. 2-8 weeks before you get to go over.

If it wasn't for 2 wonderful moms that have gone there in recent months, I would really be dying right now. But by the grace of God, I found these two and found out the following about our baby and the orphanage.

She is being well taken care of by nannies that care and work very hard.

They work 24 hour shifts and then have a day off in between.

In every pic the place looks spotless clean with new hard wood floors and new pink cribs.

The kids and babies all look clean and dressed well and have nice new toys.

She is being fed rice with chicken or pork and veggies. So glad she is getting veggies!

She still gets 2 bottles a day. One in the morning. One at night.

She is still in diapers and probably will be when I get her.

She is still sleeping in a crib. Glad we bought one!

I was told her teeth look good and most of the kids there have good teeth.

She has gained weight since the last pics so she is being well fed.

She has just started walking, but not talking yet.

She is cuter than ever!

It may not seem like much to go on for those of you who are not adopting. But for us, this information is like GOLD. It helps so much to have a little glimpse into her world and also to be more prepared for her. Last but, not least, we know this fact: SHE IS GOING TO BE VERY SPOILED! Not forever, but surely in the beginning!

Random Pics, Random Joy

A few pics I have wanted to post and talk about and didn't have time... each with a little story.

This is my cutie pie little brother, David. Oh, how sweet he is! This was taken on a recent visit and as you can see he is quite fond of his Winnie The Pooh. Evidently I got it for him (he told me I did) which I have no recollection of. It was at least 6 years ago..maybe even 10! He remembers EVERYTHING whereas I can't really tell you what I had for lunch the other day. LOL! He just kept hugging it and saying "Look Sissy, I'm kissin' on it!" Too cute.

This is my hubby holding the most gigantic leaf I have ever seen. It was almost as big as the pumpkin! It was taken a few weeks ago before the cold came in and took all the leaves and pretty color with it. Ah, well, we still have the photos!

This is my gorgeous cat Max with some white "Peace" roses from my garden. Now the funny thing is that they JUST BLOOMED. I took the photo today, but also had a few bloom before I left for FL. I went out this past Spring to find (for the first time) 5 whole rose buds. I maybe got 2 all last year and here I was with 5 flowering roses at once! So I was really excited by this and pulled out my gardening tools and rose food to prune and care for my dear rose bush. I was determined to really keep up with it and make it better than ever. WELL, it seems nature does a FAR better job without my interference! I killed the poor thing! A few branches died and it didn't bloom again until until the last few weeks. It has few leaves and is just a few tall stray branches. But, low and behold, there are some roses at the end of them! Unbelievable! I just had to tell someone...I mean look at the state of this bush (below) and how it is still blooming. See that? Miracles happen every day. And it could also said that less messing with nature may be best...at least in my case! LOL.

Weekly Inspiration

Today I went searching for a quote on TRUST. I have been feeling much better the last few days. Nothing like the sun and sand and ocean to make a girl remember how vast and amazing this universe is. I remembered to TRUST in a higher power and the system in place. I remembered how disappointed I was that my singing career didn't go as far as I wanted it to and I gave up so easily. Then I thought about how strong my marriage is and how my constant traveling and fame might have put a strain on it. I thought about my struggles with getting pregnant, the acupuncture, the fertility drugs, the hope, the disappointments...only to realize how absolutely perfect it all worked out for us. I can't imagine myself pregnant now and going through that. I can't imagine loving a child more than I already love our precious girl..even before meeting her! We are both so glad it turned out this way and we are going to be this beautiful girl's parents!

One quote I have always loved is: What would you do if you did not fear? And another I love is from a paper weight a dear friend gave me...What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? My gosh, the possibilities would be endless! And so I add to those: What would you do if you actually trusted that God will work it all out? Trusted that you are in exactly the right place where you should be and that this will all make sense later? What if you remembered that everything you dreamt of is just around the corner and all you have to do is be thankful, patient, and trust that it is coming?  So I didn't find any other TRUST quote on the net to share with you today. Nothing said what I felt exactly so I give you only the random thoughts pouring out of my head and heart. Hope it is inspiring!

Oh, and PS: When I start whining or boo-hooing again in the coming months (cause I'm sure I will) please refer me to this post!!! :-)

An Evening With Myself

After a fun and busy week of both work and socializing, I decided to break off on my own. I just wanted a quiet night away from all the noise of Miami and the constant chit-chat that goes on when you have a dozen women all working together 8 hours a day and then going out together, too. Not that it hasn't been fun - it has been - but last night was just for me. It was such a breath of fresh air to have no schedule or anyone else to coordinate with. Just me, myself, & I. In jeans, a casual top and flip-flops. A welcome relief for my swollen feet! Didn't I used to wear heels for hours? Do my feet know I'm turning 40, too? 

A bunch of us went on the town the other night and hit the famous Delano Hotel. Nice, but highly over-rated. Still, it was fun and I can say I saw it. The Shore Club was a few blocks down and we went there, too. It was beautiful! Little couches and chaises all around a huge pool with candles everywhere and white gauzy fabric hanging from cabanas, blowing in the balmy breeze. Great DJ playing songs from the 80's. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one from our group that remembered the tunes! LOL. 

So back to my quiet night...I casually strolled down Espanola Way and immediately stumbled across an art gallery. Both the art and poetry was amazing and the artist was actually there so I got to have a nice conversation with him before buying an art and poetry book for a good friend of mine. He has been to Thailand so of course I tell him we are adopting and ask if he has any sketches from his trips there. He did. So that is the small book I got for my friend that is from Thailand. I thought it might be nice to have something to remind her of home. I also picked up a very cool print for my mom. Think she is going to love it! I walked on and eyeballed the stalls of crafts and things for sale and found a little Indian-style store that had the yummiest smelling lemongrass incense. I picked up one for me and one for my friend. Then I found this great little restaurant at the end of the street. It wasn't crowded yet and I asked the waitress to seat me in a corner somewhere, but outside. It was so great. I could people watch and read the poetry book and have a nice dinner all to myself. So nice and relaxing!

I got back to the room early and got a great night's rest. I am ready for my last morning power walk and last day in Miami. Tomorrow I head home. It will be chilly, but I get to see Jeff, Chloe (the dog) and Max (the guard cat).  Looking forward to it.

Shopping Habit

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping! After my last post I figure I better put something lighthearted up here! Thank you all for the kind emails and comments. I seem to be getting more and more sappy, the closer we get. All the excitement and anticipation mixed with just plain old wanting her home so bad. Anyway, I am trying to snap out of it and enjoy myself here in South Beach. A new pair of shoes never hurts! :-) Picked up these yesterday along with a cute pair of black ballet flats. Hey, I got one practical pair, right?

In and around my emotions, I am actually having a nice time down here. The weather is perfect and balmy and I am loving my morning walks on the beach. So much so, that I ditched the Bikram yoga plan and am power walking with my girlfriends every day instead.  Eating light, reading my positive book, enjoying time with my friends, and getting a tan. Today I don't work till 5 so after my power walk I'm going to hit the beach for a few hours. Can't wait! It's been nice to be able to see another friend of mine down here that is a fellow adoptive mom and also hang with my auto show friends. Thank God for my husband and my friends!

Jeff came down from Ft. Lauderdale to see me last night with our friends Jen & Mike. Mike and Jeff are business partners. Jen is my childhood best friend who grew up a block away from me. We had a really fun night. Went to a great restaurant on Ocean Drive and then walked around South Beach and found a place with live latin music. Miami is like it's own country in some ways! There is Latin flavor everywhere, great food and music, and you can barter in the stores as if you are in another country. Jeff had to go back with them, because the guys had to work early this morning, so it was fun to just have a "date" with my husband. 

Gotta go. The beach is calling...

An Incredible Hug

I got the most amazing gift today. I was working at the auto show when I say hi to a family with an adorable little girl from China. She looked around the size our daughter may be when we get her home. Maybe a bit bigger. I wonder to myself if she is the same age as my little girl. The mom seems nice so I ask her. She's 3. I say that we were adopting a girl from Thailand and we begin sharing our stories. She is so kind and open, I was touched. She didn't know me at all and yet we had this great connection through our daughters. Her family was waiting for her in another booth by now so she gave me her email and we parted ways. 

I go back to working, still in awe of this nice break in my day when she comes back 5 minutes later with her daughter. She brought her over to me and said I want you to meet Mommy's new friend, Jen. I squatted down to say hi and her mom said something to her and she came over and hugged me! It was so sweet. Now I have hugged plenty of kids before, but this felt like something I can not describe. She had her hug me one more time before they went. It was as if this mom new this was exactly what I needed today. This is going to sound really stupid, but I have never hugged a little Asian girl. Especially not one so close in age and size and big brown eyes like Ruby's. It hit so close to home to me that I couldn't fight the tears.

I have often dreamed of what it will feel like to hug my little girl. I have tried to imagine it and the picture just wouldn't come. Now I know what it feels like. I said a quick goodbye and thank you and made a bee-line for the restroom. I overflowed with tears. Tears of joy and comfort, tears for my baby I can't hug yet, and tears of gratefulness that this mom shared her precious little one's hug with me. My heart now knows how great a hug from my daughter will be and how it will feel. And it's gonna feel, really really great. Oh, how worth the wait that hug will be.

I can handle the wait for that. I can handle anything for that kind of pay off!

Thank you, P, for that incredible gift today. You can't imagine what that did for me. Then again, I guess you can.

Hello South Beach

Flew down to Miami on Thursday. I'm here for work, but that doesn't mean I won't get to have a little fun, too! Working with a good friend, have a couple friends that live here, and Jeff is flying down this week. Should be a fun time and I hope to hit some of the many great restaurants down here. I'm staying in the heart of South Beach. Fun, warm, lively, a bit rowdy (think Spring Break), but a nice break from the norm. I brought earplugs for sleeping!

The weather and the beach are great. Took a long walk on the beach today and it was just wonderful! Oh, how I love the ocean! I might have walked a bit too long, though. Thinking that an hour and a half power walk before working an 8 hour shift requiring me to stand in high heels was maybe not such a good idea. (I am working the auto show). I also think I need to invest in another pair of black pumps that don't kill my poor feet! Ouch! Perhaps I will just take a good book and lay in the sun tomorrow and rest the tootsies for a few hours.

I have 3 good books with me that I could read. Each a completely a different kind of read. Wasn't sure what I would be in the mood for. The first is and adoption attachment book that I started a month ago that I need to finish. The second, is a beautiful, positive and spiritual book called The Power of Now by Eckard Toile. I read about half of this book a year ago (and loved it) before shelving it for all things adoption. I'm thinking it will be the perfect thing for me to read while relaxing by the pool and beach. I also am eager to re-read and finish it so I can read his newest book, New Earth, when I get home.

 The 3rd book I'd like to get to I borrowed from my cuz, Lauren. It's a diet book of sorts called Skinny Bitch.  Actually read a bit of it and the writers are a hilarious and very direct.  I was vegetarian plus fish (and  dairy) for about 3 years and want to get back to it. I'm not that crazy about meat anyway. It's okay once in awhile. I am curious to see what exactly they are eating and how many times a day they are eating it. I'd love to drop just a few lbs. but find myself starving between meals when I only eat veggies. So we'll see how that goes. I think The Power of Now will be my first read. 

I am down here for 9 more days and am going to sign up for a week of Bikram yoga on Monday. Did it in NY last year and loved it. Well, I should say I get to love it after my body gets used to it. LOL. It's hot yoga and kinda grueling, but you feel so good afterwards. Empowered, pure of toxins (because you sweat them all out) and lighter somehow. So hoping to pick up some better eating and exercise habits while down here in buff city. It's quite inspiring, even the seniors are in fabulous shape! Maybe I will do that power walk in the morning after all. :-)

Weekly Inspiration (Supplied By Mom)

Words to live by! These beautiful little plaques were a gift from my mom for Jeff & I's anniversary. So thoughtful...we just love them! (Yes, we know they are Chinese, not Thai but it doesn't matter. The message is what matters.)  Mom and David came down for a little impromptu visit. After dinner, Mom and Jeff watched the election countdown while Dave & I made a CD of songs he liked from my iTunes library. He was so cute. He would light up when he recognized a song he knew! We were just a-singing away in the kitchen for a couple hours. It's a wonder Mom & Jeff heard anything! We did manage to quiet down by the time the polls started to close. I think "Santa" may drop an iPod nano into Dave's stocking this year. He just LOVES music. 

So this year's election goes down in the history books, for sure. I don't usually get too political, but this is different. More voters came out than ever before. McCain's speech was pure class. I was very impressed by his graciousness. Whatever side you are usually on, we all DO have to work together. For ourselves, for our children, and for a better world. I'm so glad my child will grow up in a country where equality really is practiced and a person is judged by their character and not their color (to quote MLK's "dream" speech). I'm not naive to think my darker skinned child will never encounter prejudice, but I believe those walls are coming down. Slowly, but surely. Finally. I think Obama will make a great president. Time will tell. He surely has a lot of work to do. For now, I am happy the election and campaigning is over and we can all get back to life as usual.

Yin & Yang

Today my husband & I celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. We've actually been together for 16 years now.  Met in April of '92, moved to Philly together 6 months later, got engaged shortly thereafter, and well, the rest is history! Through ups and downs, good and bad, sickness and health, busy careers, PMS, fertility, and adoption...he has been there for me and vice verse. He is my best friend and the first person I go to in times of great joy and equally in times of bad news or stress. We don't always agree on every topic. He is voting for McCain today and I am voting for Obama (as much as I tried to sway him). He is more of a homebody while I love to go out do things more. He is more cautious and practical (thank God) and I am more spontaneous. He's good with money, and, well, if you read my blog often you can tell I would spend it or give it all away! The thing is we are the yin and yang. Two energies that couldn't exist without the other. Two people that give something to the other that wasn't there before. Intertwined and interdependent, each giving to each other in turn.

Jeff brings me back down to earth when I am going off on one of my newest "great ideas" and I get him to loosen up and do something spontaneous (like a weekend in Vegas we have coming up!) and have more fun. Together, we balance each other out and work through life's big and small crisis. Sure we clash now and again. What couple doesn't? But he is my heart and soul and the one I could never live without. He's an incredible person and is going to be an amazing father. (Happy Anniversary, honey! I love you with all my heart!)

PS: We got an email back from the USCIS office stating they have our approved I-600A and that processing can take 14-30 days. Okay, well at least we know it's there and we can plan for the extra days. And 30 days is much easier than 60!

NOTE: I am adding an amendment here because there has been some confusion on the post script above. Both our parents asked if we were getting our daughter in 14-30 days (we wish) and a few of you have congratulated us. Not that is isn't good news, but I think I worded it wrong. What I meant is just that the USCIS office in Bangkok emailed us back to confirm they received our approved I-600A form. That just means it got to the office and will be waiting for us when we get there. The 14-30 days is the time they are allowed to take to process our documents once in Thailand and after the board meeting there. Most cases aren't taking that long, but it's good to know so we can plan for it...just in case!

Baby's Got Gear

Well, a few more things off the to do list! Got our gear, stocking the medicine cabinet, learning more sign language. Our stroller and car seat came in and we LOVE them!

The Bugaboo Bee is everything I hoped it would be. Super cute, extremely easy to fold and unfold, turns on a dime. You can have the baby facing you or away (which is also easy to do), there is a storage area underneath, and it's sturdy, yet lightweight. We are thrilled with it. Been drooling over it for nearly a year. (Yes, I went from drooling over bags and shoes to going ga-ga for strollers! MY how things change!) Okay, truth be told, I still go crazy for a great pair of shoes.

We also love our Recaro car seat that exactly matches with the interior of my car, however we will see how giddy we are when we have to actually install it! LOL. I think I might be busy that day. (And no, we did not just choose the Recaro because it matches. I did loads of research on safety, reliability, reputation, etc. The look is just a plus!) Jeff got himself a nice Daddy carrier, too. I love my fashionable Hot Slings, but I must admit the Ergo Carrier looks WAY more comfortable. We might be sharing that!

I am focusing on all the practical stuff now. I made a list (and consulted friends) on all the little things I will need. Got a couple more diapers. Check. Need some hemp liners. Need to wash all new diapers a few times. Have to pick up Pedialite, Children's Tylenol, and a big thing of 7th Generation wipes. Waiting a little longer to get that stuff since it could expire or dry out. Need to get a Davies Gate Boo Boo stick yet. My friend Sonia swears by it. She also recommends Resistance Builder drops by California Baby. California Baby bath stuff is great, too. I have actually used it myself for my super sensitive skin. Have a lot of the other sensitive stuff, but this one I like the best. So I got a couple for the baby's bathroom and also ordered some all natural teething gel (Hylands Homeopathic). If anyone has some great products they love (especially natural remedies or organic) I would love to hear from you! 

Today is A New Day

Well, there has been a lot on my mind the last few days. While the last few weeks have been about good news and updates and people getting their referrals and traveling...this week has been about the USCIS and the delays over there with families trying to get their kids home. Evidently, the office in Bangkok that has to approve of your child's visa to get into the US has been backed up and it's taking longer than usual... causing some stress to the families over there now.

I started a post yesterday complaining about it and even published it.  Then thought better of it and took it down. I am not going to let myself worry about it anymore. If there are delays, we will handle it. We will do everything in our power to have the right paperwork when we go and make sure we dot the "i's" and cross the "t's". I have to have faith that it will all work out. And ya know what? It usually does. In my fortieth year of life (b-day fast approaching) I have found that most things I worry about never happen. I just worry that they might. I also noticed that everything tends to work itself out and when I try to "fix" it, I just expend all this energy for nothing. So I am moving on from the subject, taking precautions, but trusting the it will all be just fine when we get over there. The most important thing is getting to meet that beautiful little girl of ours and loving her with all our hearts.

As far as precautions...we did do some homework. Jeff researched for hours the other night and found out the USCIS office in Hong Kong closed in August and after September 2nd all I-800A forms have been forwarded to Bangkok. That could be one reason for delays. Then there is the Hague Convention and the switch from the standard I-600A to the I-800A form and all the added paperwork and delays from that. We are lucky that we got in before April and are grandfathered in with the I-600A...or are we? Not sure which is a better process yet. Guess we will have to wait and see. From what we can tell, it seems that the biggest issue is the USCIS being satisfied that the child does indeed qualify as being an orphan. So we will have to do more homework on that and check and DOUBLE CHECK with our agency to ensure this is taken care of - BEFORE we get there. Jeff also found an email for that office in BKK where you could ask them if they received your application (I-600A or I-800A). We are still waiting for a reply to see if they have your form in.

When we get our travel dates we are going to go to Thai Consulate in NY and will get ourselves a tourist visa for $30 each. You can travel to Thailand and be there 30 days without a visa. However, getting a tourist visa guarantees you a stay of up to 60 days without needing an extension. The other option is if you are there for 30 days and then find out you need an extension, you can fly to a nearby country like Cambodia (or drive there), Vietnam, or Malaysia and get an extension from the Thai Embassy there. Personally, I'd rather get that taken care of ahead of time. To get a tourist visa you fill out an application at a Thai consulate office. You present them with your passport, a copy of your airline ticket and itinerary and you get a 60 day visa. One thing less to have to worry about. 

We are both VERY fortunate to be in a position where we could stay away that long if we really had to. If it's a more than a month, Jeff may have to go back for his work, but I could stay as long as necessary.  Another thing is we will try to book our tickets on Thai Airways. I have to check if it is still the case, but I remember them being much more flexible with changing dates then other airlines. I don't think I even had a change fee, but then, that was an in-country flight. So I will have to check around and see what would be the easiest way to go. 

We are also going to take every shred of paperwork we have on the adoption with us - in triplicate!  Not leaving a thing open to chance. We will have extra copies of everything and will not even leave it in the hotel to risk it being accidentally tossed. Making sure we have our bases covered sets my mind at ease.

And who knows? If we are tied up there longer, maybe it will be a blessing in disguise. A whole month in our childs homeland where we can completely submerge her in her beautiful country and culture would be great way to start out our lives together. The more I think about it, that would be a really unique and wonderful bonding experience for the 3 of us. Hmmm. I guess there really is a silver lining to everything. 

So yes, today is a new day. And I am going to be grateful for it and know in my heart in will all work out and we'll have our girl safely home soon!

Mom's Day In The Sun

It's been a long road for Donna Jean. (Marie is a joke because she loves the name and nicknames all her friends - and a few cats -with that as a middle name. Even our dog has been dubbed "Chloe Marie"!) Anyway, this amazing woman had three kids to raise, one with Austism. Not too mention always being "mom" to anyone else in need. She was a single mom who had  a lot of financial struggle and hardships along the way. But not today. My beautiful mom is weeks away from retirement and is, for the first time in a long while, having fun and relaxing. The light at the end of the tunnel is burning bright and we are so looking forward to the good times ahead. It is a dream come true for me, and for her, too, of course! My mom is the kind of person that always looked out and did for everyone else. Now is her time. It's taken her awhile to come around to the idea, but I think it is finally taking hold. We are making plans for mother and daughter day trips and she is allowing her self to day dream again and think about what SHE would actually like to do. We did an "extreme home make-over" on her house last year and the whole family got involved. It was amazing. So now her home is taken care of, she is taken care of, and she has nothing to worry about except taking care of HER. It's so darn wonderful, I just can't tell you. She is like a whole new woman and I couldn't be happier for her!

Below are some pics from her big day on Thursday. Her beautiful group of friends threw her a great retirement party and my brother Jason and I drove to Harrisburg to join them.  Jeff and Jason's wife had to work so it was just us. Afterwards we had the little impromptu photo shoot in the yard and then mom and I went to see my brother Dave. We had a great visit. The 3 of us went to see the first movie (at a theater) that we have seen in YEARS! A seriously great day!

 

Mom and a few of her dear friends. They decorated the room so cute with flowers and balloons...all in pink. (I wish the inside pics came out better. It was too dark and I forgot my real camera. These were all taken with my phone.) It was really nice though. So many people were there for her - including some that have already retired who came back just for her party! Her friend Tina even came to her house the night before to give her a pretty new haircut!

Me & Mom 

Being silly - stinking our tongue out at Jason. 

Jason & Mom

Jason & I in a rare brother & sister shot and no, we did not try to match! The color coordination was purely accidental!

Jason & I laughing at mom trying to figure out how to take pics with my iPhone

David with the little pumpkin we brought him. He's so cute!!

Showing Mommy the little scrap book he made at Good Will...all by himself!

More great visits with Mom coming soon!

Ruby's Got Wheels!

I broke down. I couldn't help it. I didn't buy clothes at the adorable children's boutique carrying European styles. I didn't buy any clothes for me either. I only picked up one toy at the FABULOUS toy store we fell upon... a cute pink pig hand puppet that oinks!  (I am mildly obsessed with little pink piggies since finding out my daughter was born in the year of the pig.)

Jeff found a soft yellow ducky thing you can freeze for boo-boos. So sweet. 

Still, I passed on the many beautiful Asian dolls the toy store had and didn't buy much as we browsed for hours through Peddlers Village yesterday. It's a quaint country outdoor shopping area LOADED with great stores. But by the time we hit Beyond The Stork I was itching. I bought some cloth diapers in pink. Fuzzi Bunz and Happy Heiny's. Yes, those are actually the names. Supposed to be some of the best cloth diapers. We ordered a stroller and car seat. Hey, we are going to need them. Might as well get them on order now. The store is giving us a discount if we buy them both from there and will let us see them before committing. I was almost out of the store having only purchased the diapers when we came upon THIS:

The Wheely Bug from Prince Lionhart toys. I just looked at Jeff and said, you KNOW we have to get this, right? He liked it, too. So darn cute it was useless to resist! And Jeff knows when I get that look in my eye there is no talking me out of it. So, Ruby Kate, say hello to your new ride!

Pins & Needles

This is what I am on today. Two people from Wacap should be in the air right now heading to Thailand. It's so exciting. They will be there all week and should be finding out exactly where we stand. We know we are next and pretty close, but they should be able to find out something a little more concrete. It's an odd thing that after all the good news last week you would think I'd be content for awhile. And I WAS.  For a few days, at least. But now I am just craving more and more info. There is this buzz in the air and so much excitement going on in the Thai adoption world right now. So many are getting their referrals and traveling. Friends I know have also gotten pictures and updates. It's so amazing that not so long ago we were all just sitting around dreaming. Now we know who are children are, how absolutely beautiful they are, and have some idea of when we may see them. It leaves me grateful, overjoyed, in awe, and yet so darn anxious for the next step! Come on referral!!! 

I am dreaming about her again every night. I am also showing great restraint in not buying winter clothes for her until we get our referral. I am so dying to get her a cute winter coat. My mom really wants to get this for her. And besides, I don't know exactly what size she is or if she will definitely be home this winter. I think so, I feel it is so, but better wait to be sure. Maybe a new baby blanket will help control the shopping itch. :-)

Shades of Autumn

The warm sunny afternoons, followed by the cool evenings we've had create the most beautiful palette. Had to take a few picks of the pretty scene and share. Though I have to say, as I am looking at the photos, they really don't do it justice.

Going to go get pumpkins today and (finally) put up some fall decorations. As with everything, I can't wait to share the magic of Autumn with our own little pumpkin, Ruby.

Ruby Update!!!

Just when I hit a wall and thought I couldn't stand another minute without an update, we get an email from a wonderful mom that just picked up her new son in Thailand! Isn't it amazing how the Universe works? Our children are from the same orphanage and she was able to see our daughter.  She sent us two pictures and she said if it was our daughter, she had video, too! It IS our daughter! A little bit older and bigger (she is obviously being very well cared for) but those big, brown eyes are unmistakable.  She's just BEAUTIFUL! The best part (aside from seeing her beautiful face) is the fact that SHE'S WALKING!!!! She has delays and last we heard, she still wasn't able to walk. Well, she is now! We haven't seen the video yet, as the new mom is busy with her wonderful little bundle of love and has a lot of footage to edit. But we will soon. And we are forever grateful for her kindness. What an incredible gift we have been given today. Thank you, R, and thank you GOD!

Weekly Inspiration

"I know God will not give me anything I can not handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

Mother Theresa

Okay, Mother Theresa said a lot of wise things in her life, but this one just hit the nail on the head for me today.  I can handle this wait. I really can. But dear God, PLEASE can it not be too much longer!!

18 Months

That's how old our little girl is today. After yesterday's excitement and news that we are next in line for referral, I find myself surprisingly sentimental today. What is it with these Saturday afternoons? Goodness, I am up and down quicker than a ride at Disney. Mostly good, but sometimes it just blindsides me. I only had to look at the calendar and see the date to get all choked up. Seriously, I thought it was bad when I took fertility drugs! (Okay that really was bad) But still... I'm so emotional sometimes. Must take stock here. We have a beautiful healthy daughter. We know she is being well cared for. She will be with us soon. As I told a fellow adoptive mom today, God is giving us the most precious gift in the world. How can I not have gratitude and patience for a few more months?

Thank you for listening as I think aloud today! :-)

To-Do-With-My-Baby List

As I mentioned in the "I've Been Tagged" post, I am always doing "to do" lists. So just for silly, happy, daydreaming fun, I have already started thinking of all the things I can't wait to do with our daughter. I can never NOT think of these things as they pop into my head daily. I've never composed this list on paper or typed it out. It's such a part of my every day thoughts it really doesn't need to be written. Still, I thought it would a fun thing to blog about and share today... so here it is! Of course, this is a VERY partial list and things are not necessarily in order.

1. Take her trick or treating and dress her in one of the many adorable costumes out there.

2. Stroll her through the park, through the mall, and yes, the grocery store.

3. Take her shopping!

4. Tuck her in at night and read her a bed time story.

5. Snuggle up on the couch with her, her blankie, her dolls, and Daddy. And the dog, too.

6. Sing her to sleep.

7. Sit on the floor and play with dolls and toys and silly games.

8. Hear her laughter.

9. Stare into those beautiful, big brown eyes. Up close and in person.

10. Watch her with her Daddy.

11. Bath time and getting ready for bed.

12. Show her flowers and leaves and butterflies and nature.

13. Take her to the zoo.

14. Bring her home to meet our family.

15. Dress her in one of the 20+ dresses waiting for her in the closet or those oh-so cute jammies!

16. Feed her, make silly faces, giggle, sing some silly songs together.

17. Take so many pictures of her that she will actually have to tell me stop one day.

18. See her face when she sees snow for the first time or a Christmas tree or a present.

19. See her face light up for anything at all.

20. Okay, just seeing her face. Oh, I said that already.

 Let's just suffice it to say I can't wait to do everything or nothing at all with her! 

I know it won't be easy at first. I know these things will come later, after months of comforting and reassuring her that it's okay. But we will be here together and make it through. There will be sleepless nights and crying and screaming and tantrums. No doubt. We will have taken her away from all she's ever known. But after a few weeks or maybe months she will see how much we love her and we'll build up her trust. She'll know we are her forever family. And we'll have one heck of an amazing life.

Happy Birthday LaRae!

Just wanted to wish a very Happy Birthday to my mother-in-law (and soon to be Grandma again!) We love you very much and are looking forward to seeing you on Sunday!

Love,

Jen & Jeff

Closer Than Ever

I can feel it. See it. Taste it almost. Okay, maybe not taste, but you get the picture. We are so close to referral! Just found out from our agency (Wacap) that there are a few families traveling to Thailand this fall to get their children. (Congratulations to you all!!!)  I also found out that we are NEXT IN LINE after them! Finally!  They think we may hear something in Dec or January. Jeff and I have been so certain for weeks now that we would get that referral by the end of the year. Actually, Jeff has felt it since summer, but I flailed around a bit. Believing it one day but then worried it was just wishful thinking the next. Now we are more sure than ever. OMG, just a couple little months! Hang in there, Little Miss Ruby! We are almost there!

I've Been Tagged!

Fellow blogger Jackie, who writes one of my favorite blogs, Taiwan-On, "tagged" me so it is my turn to play and pass on the fun to my other favorite bloggers. So let's see... 7 Random or weird facts about me...

1. I am not only a Starbuck's fan, but quite possibly addicted to the stuff. MUST have my morning Starbucks in order to function!

2. I am a hopeless romantic and could watch old movies all day long if I didn't feel too guilty for not getting enough done.

3. I am a person that has to be productive. Must be busy doing something, planning something, working on a new project. I figure having a toddler around is going to give me PLENTY to do!

Of course, I already have a to-do-with-my-baby list started. :-)

4. I am most happy when I am being creative and/or with my hubby, around good friends, and family.

5. Love to entertain. I can set a mean table and make SOME good dishes, but am not the best cook in the world. I have to follow a recipe EXACTLY how it is in order for my dish to turn out. I panic at the thought of cooking for a lot of people and timing it just right. My secret trick is to serve really good wine and cheese and appetizers (which I can make a few) and make the table pretty. That way people can forgive whatever else follows! hee hee. Or I just serve them more wine. :-)

6. While some people dread travel (and admittedly, it's not what it used to be) I actually love it. I think of my time on the plane as some great "down" time. A time to read or make my to do lists or just shut down for a few hours and relax.

7. I love a theme. Hate to throw a party or give a gift without one. It's just more fun!

Here are some fellow bloggers I think may play the game. Consider yourselves tagged!

Funky Doodle Donkey

The Paben 5

Adopting Our Thai Baby

We 5 Chois

Little Maple

Waiting For Baby G

Our Thai Tale

Of course the are many other blogs I love (see list on right, scroll down) but they are either private or not blogging much. Hint, hint Nancy and Sonia! And some are just busy so I thought they may not be able to play the game. Hope this was an interesting read and I look forward to seeing the above bloggers 7 random facts!

Jen

Pickin' Walnuts

Yes, we actually spent half the day picking walnuts. Jeff had a half day off and I was around, so why not? With 4 or 5 walnut trees in the front yard and Autumn at our doorstep, it was time to get out there and get 'em up before it got to be too much. Besides, it was a really nice day for it. It's a lot of work, but really, I don't mind it so much. The walnuts are nothing compared to the weeds we get in the summer. I'll take an afternoon with the walnuts any day! Here is the proof of our labor:

The yard

The Husband. Hauling down walnuts (smiling uncomfortably because he knows he will end up on this blog). He's right. :-)

The walnuts. All ready for pick-up!

And finally the yard hours later. One strip freshly mowed and the picking all done. Well, for now. Until we get a windy day and start all over again! Ah, well. At least it's good exercise. I feel like I did at least 100 squats!

Hope For The Animals & Hope For Me

Today's weather was even more beautiful than yesterday. The leaves are starting to change color, yet it was still sunny and warm. We went to a different park today for our morning walk. We do the annual Hope for the Animals walk with our good friends every year at a much larger park on a lake. So pretty. The turn out this year was 5 times that of previous years. Nice to see. Lots of cats & dogs are going to get good care and go to a great home! Our crew consisted of two couples, 3 dogs, and our friends adorable two children. Loads of kids and dogs there and we met some nice families. One that has an adopted daughter from China and live near by (I couldn't resist the urge today to say hello!) It was the sign I needed that everything is indeed okay and it will be our turn soon. We all had a real nice day.

We found out our agency (Wacap) confirmed their dates of travel to Thailand. They will leave Oct. 20th. They aren't going to the province where our baby is, but they ARE going to see the social worker who will deliver the care package we sent to the agency. That feels good. I want her to hold her little blankie and doll and things and know that somebody loves her. Somebody loves her a WHOLE lot. I feel confident we are going to get some sort of update soon and it gives me a renewed hope and spring in my step. Just a few more weeks and we will know SOME little bit more. I have to stay strong. Just a few more weeks or months to referral. It's getting closer. I can feel it.

For tonight, I will lose myself in our favorite "must see TV" night. Extreme Make-Over Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers & Sisters. Sentiment followed by drama at it's best. Add wine plus take out from our favorite sushi joint and you've got a five star night in our house. :-)

It's Just The Little Things

...that get to me. Like the toy section of Target. Or the baby department of Macy's. Okay, any department store. An adorable child walking hand in hand with her parents in the park. Spotting a family that appears to have an adopted child (that I have to resist the urge to chase down and say, HI! We are adopting too!) Or a trip to the grocery store. Yes, the grocery store.
It's almost shameful that I could let it get me down on such a beautiful day. It was a crisp-yet-sunny, perfect autumn day. We got up, had breakfast together, then took the dog for a long walk in the park. It's a great park with lots of dogs and friendly faces and we happily chatted through 3.3 miles. We then did something we rarely have time to do together: grocery shop. Years ago before busy schedules we always did our grocery shopping together. I don't know why, but I kind-of like having him along as we leisurely walk down the aisles and stock up. I mean, I REALLY don't know why, since he insists on getting way too many snacks and stuff loaded with sugar and hydrogenated oils that I would never let hit the cart! (ha ha, good practice for a toddler!) Anyway, there we are just a-trucking along down the aisles and it hits me: THE BABY AISLE. Questions form in my mind as easily as the tears well up in my eyes as I spot the formula and baby food. What is she eating? Does she have a few more teeth yet? I wonder what she will eat by the time we get her and what will she like? Then there are the diapers, the wipes, the butt paste, the bath stuff, THE QUESTIONS. Should I buy some? Stock up? Will she still be in diapers or do they potty train earlier there? I picture doing the yuckiest of jobs and it too makes me want to cry - just picturing the bonding time while laying her down on the table and sharing some giggles before cleaning her all up and getting her ready to go out somewhere. (Geez, you KNOW I am ready for motherhood when I am even anticipating that!) I quickly pull it together and make a b-line for the next row. But then there are all the Halloween goodies. And dolls and toys on the way the check out counter. Completely unaware of my wondering mind, another mom casually strolls by with her baby and groceries. It's just another ordinary day for her, I think to myself. (Sigh) I can't wait for that.

The rest of the day was fine and I am fine. It was a good day with the hubby. It's just the simple every day stuff that people don't really think about that much that gets to me sometimes. That ordinary routine stuff I want so much to do with my little girl.

(Above photo from www.babymermaidlanding.com featuring Kelsea Covers for grocery carts)

Fashion Baby Hot Momma!

Introducing my new blog! Fashionbabyhotmomma is a nice outlet for my creative juices and gives me something else to do other than WAIT and WAIT for that referral to come in. I've had a bit too much time on my hands lately and decided to do something about it. So please click on the title above and take a look!

As the name implies, the blog is all about fashion for mom and baby, plus gear, tips, and fun ideas. I hope you'll enjoy it as much I enjoyed putting it together. And the coolest part of it is I hope to make some money for charity. Every month I will donate it to one of my favorite charities. I narrowed down the list that I have here on this blog and am focusing on all orphans and children's charities. New list is on the new blog. I also have a plan B. Going to auction off some of designer goods for mom or baby every month if I can. Have to figure out how to do that first!
So, you go, fashion mommas, and check out some new fall fashion for you and your little ones!

Weekly Inspiration

"Life can only be understood backwards, but best lived forwards"
Good one. And so true. When I look back on the years of trying to get pregnant and I see how happy we are now about adopting...well it all makes sense now. I look into the eyes of my beautiful daughter's picture and know she was meant to be our daughter. We couldn't love a child more and we can't wait to have her in our arms. Even the wait, when looking back, won't seem so long. We will probably look back and say, thank God we had all that time to get ready and learn so much. It doesn't make us not want her home this very minute, but it does help us to be patient and know that all things happen at the right time.

Happy Birthday Mom!

A beautiful lady celebrates her 62nd birthday today! It's going to be an exciting year of your life, mom! This year will see you retiring, finding free time for yourself (finally), maybe traveling... A new chapter, for sure! It will also be the year you meet your first Grandaughter! We are going to have such a wonderful time. So glad you will be free to visit more and share this amazing experience with us. We love you so much!

Wishing you a very happy birthday!

Baby Gifts!

I just got the cutest gift this week from a friend of mine and couldn't resist posting. It's a little rolling suitcase with a pink puppy that is all fuzzy and soft. In a word: ADORABLE! Ruby is ready for travel! Thanks, Jenn!
But I couldn't mention this gift without mentioning all of the thoughtful gifts our Ruby has received already. A few of them pictured above. The first gift we got was a really cute little dress from my friend, Sonia. So sweet with big daisies on it! Sonia also sent a cute sundress, a few tees, and a black velvet beret, too! Thanks, Soni! My friend Angie sent me the sweetest little tooth fairy box and art books for kids this summer. So thoughtful!
We received 2 fantastic books from Sandra Boyton and the softest teddy bear ever from my "Cuz" (and Godmother) Lauren & her hubby (Godfather) Chris. Then a HUGE unexpected gift bag from my brother, Jason and Melissa. They bought her 2 super-cute outfits complete with matching hats. (I love hats!) The red ensemble is my FAVORITE! Also in the bag were 2 sweet Mommy/Daddy Kisses books, and this cute pink star registry bear. We can actually go online and name a star after our precious angel! How cool is that? You guys are just awesome! My Dad's fiance' Lynn surprised me at the family picnic with the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. (1st picture). It's all pink and flowery and girlie...I LOVE IT! Even has a petticoat for complete twirling girlie-ness!
All the gifts and thoughts and prayers mean so much to us. Sure hope I haven't forgotten anyone already. Between all these nice gifts and the many things purchased by yours truly, her closet is getting pretty full! Heck, I even bought a potty. Pink, of course! And then there's the 2 feet tall Dora the Explorer I carry around the house in my sling (with weights). Tried the dog, but she won't stay in there for long. Yea, your laughing now, but you won't see me putting my new daughter down because of a back ache! No sir! No time for injury or even sore muscles. We have dolls to play with, tea parties to throw, play kitchen stuff to "bake" and all sorts of adventures!
Fun, fun, girlish fun! We are going to have lots more of it when our beautiful Ruby Kate comes home!

Can you LOVE a bag?

I think so! Amongst the sea of beautiful diaper bags out there, this one stood out and screamed BUY ME! BUY ME! I haven't done it yet. In fact I am trying to talk myself out of it. But, seriously, is this not the most hip, funky, hippie-chic diaper bag you have ever seen? It's by Isabella Fiore and appropriately called Baby Love. Think I may have to pick one of these up for me and my own baby love!

Hope & A Blankie

That is what I have today. Our agency is going to Thailand at the end of October and I have hope that we are going to find something out. Maybe it will be our grandest dream and she will come back with a referral. Maybe she will get new pictures of her or an update. Perhaps the social workers will give her a health update and let us know things like if she is walking, talking and developing okay. Or even just tell us how many precious baby teeth she has. Knowing these things would mean EVERYTHING. I think it's a long shot that we would get our referral this soon, but, hey, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! If not November, then I just KNOW we will find something out by the end of the year!

For now, I am shipping some of the care package items we bought for our Ruby and sending to the agency to take with them. Very excited that they said we can now send items specifically for her. We have the most adorable Lil' Silkie blankie from lilamonsters.com. (FYI - they have a great assortment of small and large blankets, many with Asian or vintage patterns. Click on the title of this post to go to their website). Our Ruby was born in the year of the pig so we got a blankie with little pink piggies on it. So sweet I had to post a picture of it. If you double click on it you can get a closer view of the cute, silly, little pigs faces. We slept with it for a week so it had our scent on it. Read somewhere it was a good idea to do that. Also sending some development toys and the puppy and a small rag doll. All things she will be able to bring home with her.

So, today we are sending gifts to our little girl waiting for us on the other side of the planet...with love and with hope.

Happy Birthday Hubby

Today is a great day. It's the day my beautiful husband and best friend was born. He's such an incredible man. The kind of guy that is always there. He's sweet and funny, loving and hard working. He can always make me laugh. He lends a hand to friends and family or gives to charity at the drop of a hat. He is a loving and generous soul and with a heart of gold. I can hardly remember what life was like without him and I'm so glad I don't have to!

This wonderful man proposed to me on this day - HIS birthday - about 15 years ago, saying I was his best gift ever. No, my dear, YOU are the best gift. Happy Birthday! I love you with all my heart.

Jen

Adoption Community

I am constantly reminded what a small and wonderful world we live in. Yea, there is chaos and war. There are children in need of homes and help and the world is far from perfect. But in and amongst all this, there are good people...everywhere. In every part of the world. The adoption community itself is comprised of some of the most loving and kind people I have ever not met! Through yahoo groups and blogs and emails we have bonded and shared our stories. We inspire and support each other. We share facts and give hope. It's really something I hadn't bargained for when I started this and something I am so thankful for.

My brilliant husband is the one who encouraged me to sign up for the groups and blog. Yes, the way I ramble on, you are probably saying, SURE, like she really needed encouragement! :) But I wasn't sure at first. I was so bummed about the wait. Well, all I can say is I am so glad I did. There have been so many that have helped me through this process in big and small ways and it means so much.

I looked at my blog today and saw over 4000 hits from 67 countries. That, too, is amazing. Is it possible I encourage or inspire while others are encouraging me? I hope so. It's also fun to pop on every morning and see what countries or cities have been to our blog. If you stop by the blog regularly, PLEASE drop me a line. I would so love to hear from you and hear your story. My email is macimiller@comcast.net

Thank you all again for your kindness and friendship and advice along the way. Best to all of you adopting. We are in this together and we have an incredible path ahead of us!

Weekly Inspiration

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Buddha

Good Bye Summer

For those of us in the US, today (Labor Day) signifies a day off. In 1894, the labor union decided workers needed a day off and made it a federal holiday. Personally, I think it was a fabulous idea! It's the last big weekend of summer, kids are going back to school, seems like a great time for a long weekend. It's a time, traditionally, for end of summer parties, BBQ's, and time with family and friends. We had a fun social schedule this weekend with lots of places to go and friends to see. Friday night was date night in - just the two of us. Sat we had my friend Susan and her boyfriend over for dinner. Sunday we had a blast at our good friends Charlsey & John's pool party. I think I carried their precious daughter Ava around for 2 hours. She was so cute I didn't want to put her down! Then today we headed over to my brothers for a cook-out and great visit with the family. We always have fun with them and I especially love seeing my nephews. Relaxing, fun weekend.

It's been a great summer for seeing friends and family. We figured we better go out and do it now before we have a toddler at home. Still, with summer coming to an end I don't find myself like many - longing for more hot lazy days. On the contrary, fall is one of my favorite seasons. Mother Nature takes care of all the landscaping and the crisp cool mornings make it perfect for a power walk (or jog if I am feeling particularly motivated). It's the time of the year we got married, the time we settled on and moved into our house, both of our birthdays, and a few family birthdays, too. This year autumn may bring even more magic than most years...news from Thailand. Maybe, just maybe, we will get our referral this fall. I don't know why but we are holding onto the hope that we will hear something by the end of the year. Prayers said, fingers crossed. :)

Pictures above are from the garden and yard this summer. Love the one with Chloe (our dog) just sitting there watching the deer crossing through the yard.