Mom's Day In The Sun

It's been a long road for Donna Jean. (Marie is a joke because she loves the name and nicknames all her friends - and a few cats -with that as a middle name. Even our dog has been dubbed "Chloe Marie"!) Anyway, this amazing woman had three kids to raise, one with Austism. Not too mention always being "mom" to anyone else in need. She was a single mom who had  a lot of financial struggle and hardships along the way. But not today. My beautiful mom is weeks away from retirement and is, for the first time in a long while, having fun and relaxing. The light at the end of the tunnel is burning bright and we are so looking forward to the good times ahead. It is a dream come true for me, and for her, too, of course! My mom is the kind of person that always looked out and did for everyone else. Now is her time. It's taken her awhile to come around to the idea, but I think it is finally taking hold. We are making plans for mother and daughter day trips and she is allowing her self to day dream again and think about what SHE would actually like to do. We did an "extreme home make-over" on her house last year and the whole family got involved. It was amazing. So now her home is taken care of, she is taken care of, and she has nothing to worry about except taking care of HER. It's so darn wonderful, I just can't tell you. She is like a whole new woman and I couldn't be happier for her!

Below are some pics from her big day on Thursday. Her beautiful group of friends threw her a great retirement party and my brother Jason and I drove to Harrisburg to join them.  Jeff and Jason's wife had to work so it was just us. Afterwards we had the little impromptu photo shoot in the yard and then mom and I went to see my brother Dave. We had a great visit. The 3 of us went to see the first movie (at a theater) that we have seen in YEARS! A seriously great day!

 

Mom and a few of her dear friends. They decorated the room so cute with flowers and balloons...all in pink. (I wish the inside pics came out better. It was too dark and I forgot my real camera. These were all taken with my phone.) It was really nice though. So many people were there for her - including some that have already retired who came back just for her party! Her friend Tina even came to her house the night before to give her a pretty new haircut!

Me & Mom 

Being silly - stinking our tongue out at Jason. 

Jason & Mom

Jason & I in a rare brother & sister shot and no, we did not try to match! The color coordination was purely accidental!

Jason & I laughing at mom trying to figure out how to take pics with my iPhone

David with the little pumpkin we brought him. He's so cute!!

Showing Mommy the little scrap book he made at Good Will...all by himself!

More great visits with Mom coming soon!

Ruby's Got Wheels!

I broke down. I couldn't help it. I didn't buy clothes at the adorable children's boutique carrying European styles. I didn't buy any clothes for me either. I only picked up one toy at the FABULOUS toy store we fell upon... a cute pink pig hand puppet that oinks!  (I am mildly obsessed with little pink piggies since finding out my daughter was born in the year of the pig.)

Jeff found a soft yellow ducky thing you can freeze for boo-boos. So sweet. 

Still, I passed on the many beautiful Asian dolls the toy store had and didn't buy much as we browsed for hours through Peddlers Village yesterday. It's a quaint country outdoor shopping area LOADED with great stores. But by the time we hit Beyond The Stork I was itching. I bought some cloth diapers in pink. Fuzzi Bunz and Happy Heiny's. Yes, those are actually the names. Supposed to be some of the best cloth diapers. We ordered a stroller and car seat. Hey, we are going to need them. Might as well get them on order now. The store is giving us a discount if we buy them both from there and will let us see them before committing. I was almost out of the store having only purchased the diapers when we came upon THIS:

The Wheely Bug from Prince Lionhart toys. I just looked at Jeff and said, you KNOW we have to get this, right? He liked it, too. So darn cute it was useless to resist! And Jeff knows when I get that look in my eye there is no talking me out of it. So, Ruby Kate, say hello to your new ride!

Pins & Needles

This is what I am on today. Two people from Wacap should be in the air right now heading to Thailand. It's so exciting. They will be there all week and should be finding out exactly where we stand. We know we are next and pretty close, but they should be able to find out something a little more concrete. It's an odd thing that after all the good news last week you would think I'd be content for awhile. And I WAS.  For a few days, at least. But now I am just craving more and more info. There is this buzz in the air and so much excitement going on in the Thai adoption world right now. So many are getting their referrals and traveling. Friends I know have also gotten pictures and updates. It's so amazing that not so long ago we were all just sitting around dreaming. Now we know who are children are, how absolutely beautiful they are, and have some idea of when we may see them. It leaves me grateful, overjoyed, in awe, and yet so darn anxious for the next step! Come on referral!!! 

I am dreaming about her again every night. I am also showing great restraint in not buying winter clothes for her until we get our referral. I am so dying to get her a cute winter coat. My mom really wants to get this for her. And besides, I don't know exactly what size she is or if she will definitely be home this winter. I think so, I feel it is so, but better wait to be sure. Maybe a new baby blanket will help control the shopping itch. :-)

Shades of Autumn

The warm sunny afternoons, followed by the cool evenings we've had create the most beautiful palette. Had to take a few picks of the pretty scene and share. Though I have to say, as I am looking at the photos, they really don't do it justice.

Going to go get pumpkins today and (finally) put up some fall decorations. As with everything, I can't wait to share the magic of Autumn with our own little pumpkin, Ruby.

Ruby Update!!!

Just when I hit a wall and thought I couldn't stand another minute without an update, we get an email from a wonderful mom that just picked up her new son in Thailand! Isn't it amazing how the Universe works? Our children are from the same orphanage and she was able to see our daughter.  She sent us two pictures and she said if it was our daughter, she had video, too! It IS our daughter! A little bit older and bigger (she is obviously being very well cared for) but those big, brown eyes are unmistakable.  She's just BEAUTIFUL! The best part (aside from seeing her beautiful face) is the fact that SHE'S WALKING!!!! She has delays and last we heard, she still wasn't able to walk. Well, she is now! We haven't seen the video yet, as the new mom is busy with her wonderful little bundle of love and has a lot of footage to edit. But we will soon. And we are forever grateful for her kindness. What an incredible gift we have been given today. Thank you, R, and thank you GOD!

Weekly Inspiration

"I know God will not give me anything I can not handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

Mother Theresa

Okay, Mother Theresa said a lot of wise things in her life, but this one just hit the nail on the head for me today.  I can handle this wait. I really can. But dear God, PLEASE can it not be too much longer!!

18 Months

That's how old our little girl is today. After yesterday's excitement and news that we are next in line for referral, I find myself surprisingly sentimental today. What is it with these Saturday afternoons? Goodness, I am up and down quicker than a ride at Disney. Mostly good, but sometimes it just blindsides me. I only had to look at the calendar and see the date to get all choked up. Seriously, I thought it was bad when I took fertility drugs! (Okay that really was bad) But still... I'm so emotional sometimes. Must take stock here. We have a beautiful healthy daughter. We know she is being well cared for. She will be with us soon. As I told a fellow adoptive mom today, God is giving us the most precious gift in the world. How can I not have gratitude and patience for a few more months?

Thank you for listening as I think aloud today! :-)

To-Do-With-My-Baby List

As I mentioned in the "I've Been Tagged" post, I am always doing "to do" lists. So just for silly, happy, daydreaming fun, I have already started thinking of all the things I can't wait to do with our daughter. I can never NOT think of these things as they pop into my head daily. I've never composed this list on paper or typed it out. It's such a part of my every day thoughts it really doesn't need to be written. Still, I thought it would a fun thing to blog about and share today... so here it is! Of course, this is a VERY partial list and things are not necessarily in order.

1. Take her trick or treating and dress her in one of the many adorable costumes out there.

2. Stroll her through the park, through the mall, and yes, the grocery store.

3. Take her shopping!

4. Tuck her in at night and read her a bed time story.

5. Snuggle up on the couch with her, her blankie, her dolls, and Daddy. And the dog, too.

6. Sing her to sleep.

7. Sit on the floor and play with dolls and toys and silly games.

8. Hear her laughter.

9. Stare into those beautiful, big brown eyes. Up close and in person.

10. Watch her with her Daddy.

11. Bath time and getting ready for bed.

12. Show her flowers and leaves and butterflies and nature.

13. Take her to the zoo.

14. Bring her home to meet our family.

15. Dress her in one of the 20+ dresses waiting for her in the closet or those oh-so cute jammies!

16. Feed her, make silly faces, giggle, sing some silly songs together.

17. Take so many pictures of her that she will actually have to tell me stop one day.

18. See her face when she sees snow for the first time or a Christmas tree or a present.

19. See her face light up for anything at all.

20. Okay, just seeing her face. Oh, I said that already.

 Let's just suffice it to say I can't wait to do everything or nothing at all with her! 

I know it won't be easy at first. I know these things will come later, after months of comforting and reassuring her that it's okay. But we will be here together and make it through. There will be sleepless nights and crying and screaming and tantrums. No doubt. We will have taken her away from all she's ever known. But after a few weeks or maybe months she will see how much we love her and we'll build up her trust. She'll know we are her forever family. And we'll have one heck of an amazing life.

Happy Birthday LaRae!

Just wanted to wish a very Happy Birthday to my mother-in-law (and soon to be Grandma again!) We love you very much and are looking forward to seeing you on Sunday!

Love,

Jen & Jeff

Closer Than Ever

I can feel it. See it. Taste it almost. Okay, maybe not taste, but you get the picture. We are so close to referral! Just found out from our agency (Wacap) that there are a few families traveling to Thailand this fall to get their children. (Congratulations to you all!!!)  I also found out that we are NEXT IN LINE after them! Finally!  They think we may hear something in Dec or January. Jeff and I have been so certain for weeks now that we would get that referral by the end of the year. Actually, Jeff has felt it since summer, but I flailed around a bit. Believing it one day but then worried it was just wishful thinking the next. Now we are more sure than ever. OMG, just a couple little months! Hang in there, Little Miss Ruby! We are almost there!

I've Been Tagged!

Fellow blogger Jackie, who writes one of my favorite blogs, Taiwan-On, "tagged" me so it is my turn to play and pass on the fun to my other favorite bloggers. So let's see... 7 Random or weird facts about me...

1. I am not only a Starbuck's fan, but quite possibly addicted to the stuff. MUST have my morning Starbucks in order to function!

2. I am a hopeless romantic and could watch old movies all day long if I didn't feel too guilty for not getting enough done.

3. I am a person that has to be productive. Must be busy doing something, planning something, working on a new project. I figure having a toddler around is going to give me PLENTY to do!

Of course, I already have a to-do-with-my-baby list started. :-)

4. I am most happy when I am being creative and/or with my hubby, around good friends, and family.

5. Love to entertain. I can set a mean table and make SOME good dishes, but am not the best cook in the world. I have to follow a recipe EXACTLY how it is in order for my dish to turn out. I panic at the thought of cooking for a lot of people and timing it just right. My secret trick is to serve really good wine and cheese and appetizers (which I can make a few) and make the table pretty. That way people can forgive whatever else follows! hee hee. Or I just serve them more wine. :-)

6. While some people dread travel (and admittedly, it's not what it used to be) I actually love it. I think of my time on the plane as some great "down" time. A time to read or make my to do lists or just shut down for a few hours and relax.

7. I love a theme. Hate to throw a party or give a gift without one. It's just more fun!

Here are some fellow bloggers I think may play the game. Consider yourselves tagged!

Funky Doodle Donkey

The Paben 5

Adopting Our Thai Baby

We 5 Chois

Little Maple

Waiting For Baby G

Our Thai Tale

Of course the are many other blogs I love (see list on right, scroll down) but they are either private or not blogging much. Hint, hint Nancy and Sonia! And some are just busy so I thought they may not be able to play the game. Hope this was an interesting read and I look forward to seeing the above bloggers 7 random facts!

Jen

Pickin' Walnuts

Yes, we actually spent half the day picking walnuts. Jeff had a half day off and I was around, so why not? With 4 or 5 walnut trees in the front yard and Autumn at our doorstep, it was time to get out there and get 'em up before it got to be too much. Besides, it was a really nice day for it. It's a lot of work, but really, I don't mind it so much. The walnuts are nothing compared to the weeds we get in the summer. I'll take an afternoon with the walnuts any day! Here is the proof of our labor:

The yard

The Husband. Hauling down walnuts (smiling uncomfortably because he knows he will end up on this blog). He's right. :-)

The walnuts. All ready for pick-up!

And finally the yard hours later. One strip freshly mowed and the picking all done. Well, for now. Until we get a windy day and start all over again! Ah, well. At least it's good exercise. I feel like I did at least 100 squats!

Hope For The Animals & Hope For Me

Today's weather was even more beautiful than yesterday. The leaves are starting to change color, yet it was still sunny and warm. We went to a different park today for our morning walk. We do the annual Hope for the Animals walk with our good friends every year at a much larger park on a lake. So pretty. The turn out this year was 5 times that of previous years. Nice to see. Lots of cats & dogs are going to get good care and go to a great home! Our crew consisted of two couples, 3 dogs, and our friends adorable two children. Loads of kids and dogs there and we met some nice families. One that has an adopted daughter from China and live near by (I couldn't resist the urge today to say hello!) It was the sign I needed that everything is indeed okay and it will be our turn soon. We all had a real nice day.

We found out our agency (Wacap) confirmed their dates of travel to Thailand. They will leave Oct. 20th. They aren't going to the province where our baby is, but they ARE going to see the social worker who will deliver the care package we sent to the agency. That feels good. I want her to hold her little blankie and doll and things and know that somebody loves her. Somebody loves her a WHOLE lot. I feel confident we are going to get some sort of update soon and it gives me a renewed hope and spring in my step. Just a few more weeks and we will know SOME little bit more. I have to stay strong. Just a few more weeks or months to referral. It's getting closer. I can feel it.

For tonight, I will lose myself in our favorite "must see TV" night. Extreme Make-Over Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers & Sisters. Sentiment followed by drama at it's best. Add wine plus take out from our favorite sushi joint and you've got a five star night in our house. :-)

It's Just The Little Things

...that get to me. Like the toy section of Target. Or the baby department of Macy's. Okay, any department store. An adorable child walking hand in hand with her parents in the park. Spotting a family that appears to have an adopted child (that I have to resist the urge to chase down and say, HI! We are adopting too!) Or a trip to the grocery store. Yes, the grocery store.
It's almost shameful that I could let it get me down on such a beautiful day. It was a crisp-yet-sunny, perfect autumn day. We got up, had breakfast together, then took the dog for a long walk in the park. It's a great park with lots of dogs and friendly faces and we happily chatted through 3.3 miles. We then did something we rarely have time to do together: grocery shop. Years ago before busy schedules we always did our grocery shopping together. I don't know why, but I kind-of like having him along as we leisurely walk down the aisles and stock up. I mean, I REALLY don't know why, since he insists on getting way too many snacks and stuff loaded with sugar and hydrogenated oils that I would never let hit the cart! (ha ha, good practice for a toddler!) Anyway, there we are just a-trucking along down the aisles and it hits me: THE BABY AISLE. Questions form in my mind as easily as the tears well up in my eyes as I spot the formula and baby food. What is she eating? Does she have a few more teeth yet? I wonder what she will eat by the time we get her and what will she like? Then there are the diapers, the wipes, the butt paste, the bath stuff, THE QUESTIONS. Should I buy some? Stock up? Will she still be in diapers or do they potty train earlier there? I picture doing the yuckiest of jobs and it too makes me want to cry - just picturing the bonding time while laying her down on the table and sharing some giggles before cleaning her all up and getting her ready to go out somewhere. (Geez, you KNOW I am ready for motherhood when I am even anticipating that!) I quickly pull it together and make a b-line for the next row. But then there are all the Halloween goodies. And dolls and toys on the way the check out counter. Completely unaware of my wondering mind, another mom casually strolls by with her baby and groceries. It's just another ordinary day for her, I think to myself. (Sigh) I can't wait for that.

The rest of the day was fine and I am fine. It was a good day with the hubby. It's just the simple every day stuff that people don't really think about that much that gets to me sometimes. That ordinary routine stuff I want so much to do with my little girl.

(Above photo from www.babymermaidlanding.com featuring Kelsea Covers for grocery carts)

Fashion Baby Hot Momma!

Introducing my new blog! Fashionbabyhotmomma is a nice outlet for my creative juices and gives me something else to do other than WAIT and WAIT for that referral to come in. I've had a bit too much time on my hands lately and decided to do something about it. So please click on the title above and take a look!

As the name implies, the blog is all about fashion for mom and baby, plus gear, tips, and fun ideas. I hope you'll enjoy it as much I enjoyed putting it together. And the coolest part of it is I hope to make some money for charity. Every month I will donate it to one of my favorite charities. I narrowed down the list that I have here on this blog and am focusing on all orphans and children's charities. New list is on the new blog. I also have a plan B. Going to auction off some of designer goods for mom or baby every month if I can. Have to figure out how to do that first!
So, you go, fashion mommas, and check out some new fall fashion for you and your little ones!

Weekly Inspiration

"Life can only be understood backwards, but best lived forwards"
Good one. And so true. When I look back on the years of trying to get pregnant and I see how happy we are now about adopting...well it all makes sense now. I look into the eyes of my beautiful daughter's picture and know she was meant to be our daughter. We couldn't love a child more and we can't wait to have her in our arms. Even the wait, when looking back, won't seem so long. We will probably look back and say, thank God we had all that time to get ready and learn so much. It doesn't make us not want her home this very minute, but it does help us to be patient and know that all things happen at the right time.

Happy Birthday Mom!

A beautiful lady celebrates her 62nd birthday today! It's going to be an exciting year of your life, mom! This year will see you retiring, finding free time for yourself (finally), maybe traveling... A new chapter, for sure! It will also be the year you meet your first Grandaughter! We are going to have such a wonderful time. So glad you will be free to visit more and share this amazing experience with us. We love you so much!

Wishing you a very happy birthday!

Baby Gifts!

I just got the cutest gift this week from a friend of mine and couldn't resist posting. It's a little rolling suitcase with a pink puppy that is all fuzzy and soft. In a word: ADORABLE! Ruby is ready for travel! Thanks, Jenn!
But I couldn't mention this gift without mentioning all of the thoughtful gifts our Ruby has received already. A few of them pictured above. The first gift we got was a really cute little dress from my friend, Sonia. So sweet with big daisies on it! Sonia also sent a cute sundress, a few tees, and a black velvet beret, too! Thanks, Soni! My friend Angie sent me the sweetest little tooth fairy box and art books for kids this summer. So thoughtful!
We received 2 fantastic books from Sandra Boyton and the softest teddy bear ever from my "Cuz" (and Godmother) Lauren & her hubby (Godfather) Chris. Then a HUGE unexpected gift bag from my brother, Jason and Melissa. They bought her 2 super-cute outfits complete with matching hats. (I love hats!) The red ensemble is my FAVORITE! Also in the bag were 2 sweet Mommy/Daddy Kisses books, and this cute pink star registry bear. We can actually go online and name a star after our precious angel! How cool is that? You guys are just awesome! My Dad's fiance' Lynn surprised me at the family picnic with the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. (1st picture). It's all pink and flowery and girlie...I LOVE IT! Even has a petticoat for complete twirling girlie-ness!
All the gifts and thoughts and prayers mean so much to us. Sure hope I haven't forgotten anyone already. Between all these nice gifts and the many things purchased by yours truly, her closet is getting pretty full! Heck, I even bought a potty. Pink, of course! And then there's the 2 feet tall Dora the Explorer I carry around the house in my sling (with weights). Tried the dog, but she won't stay in there for long. Yea, your laughing now, but you won't see me putting my new daughter down because of a back ache! No sir! No time for injury or even sore muscles. We have dolls to play with, tea parties to throw, play kitchen stuff to "bake" and all sorts of adventures!
Fun, fun, girlish fun! We are going to have lots more of it when our beautiful Ruby Kate comes home!

Can you LOVE a bag?

I think so! Amongst the sea of beautiful diaper bags out there, this one stood out and screamed BUY ME! BUY ME! I haven't done it yet. In fact I am trying to talk myself out of it. But, seriously, is this not the most hip, funky, hippie-chic diaper bag you have ever seen? It's by Isabella Fiore and appropriately called Baby Love. Think I may have to pick one of these up for me and my own baby love!

Hope & A Blankie

That is what I have today. Our agency is going to Thailand at the end of October and I have hope that we are going to find something out. Maybe it will be our grandest dream and she will come back with a referral. Maybe she will get new pictures of her or an update. Perhaps the social workers will give her a health update and let us know things like if she is walking, talking and developing okay. Or even just tell us how many precious baby teeth she has. Knowing these things would mean EVERYTHING. I think it's a long shot that we would get our referral this soon, but, hey, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! If not November, then I just KNOW we will find something out by the end of the year!

For now, I am shipping some of the care package items we bought for our Ruby and sending to the agency to take with them. Very excited that they said we can now send items specifically for her. We have the most adorable Lil' Silkie blankie from lilamonsters.com. (FYI - they have a great assortment of small and large blankets, many with Asian or vintage patterns. Click on the title of this post to go to their website). Our Ruby was born in the year of the pig so we got a blankie with little pink piggies on it. So sweet I had to post a picture of it. If you double click on it you can get a closer view of the cute, silly, little pigs faces. We slept with it for a week so it had our scent on it. Read somewhere it was a good idea to do that. Also sending some development toys and the puppy and a small rag doll. All things she will be able to bring home with her.

So, today we are sending gifts to our little girl waiting for us on the other side of the planet...with love and with hope.

Happy Birthday Hubby

Today is a great day. It's the day my beautiful husband and best friend was born. He's such an incredible man. The kind of guy that is always there. He's sweet and funny, loving and hard working. He can always make me laugh. He lends a hand to friends and family or gives to charity at the drop of a hat. He is a loving and generous soul and with a heart of gold. I can hardly remember what life was like without him and I'm so glad I don't have to!

This wonderful man proposed to me on this day - HIS birthday - about 15 years ago, saying I was his best gift ever. No, my dear, YOU are the best gift. Happy Birthday! I love you with all my heart.

Jen

Adoption Community

I am constantly reminded what a small and wonderful world we live in. Yea, there is chaos and war. There are children in need of homes and help and the world is far from perfect. But in and amongst all this, there are good people...everywhere. In every part of the world. The adoption community itself is comprised of some of the most loving and kind people I have ever not met! Through yahoo groups and blogs and emails we have bonded and shared our stories. We inspire and support each other. We share facts and give hope. It's really something I hadn't bargained for when I started this and something I am so thankful for.

My brilliant husband is the one who encouraged me to sign up for the groups and blog. Yes, the way I ramble on, you are probably saying, SURE, like she really needed encouragement! :) But I wasn't sure at first. I was so bummed about the wait. Well, all I can say is I am so glad I did. There have been so many that have helped me through this process in big and small ways and it means so much.

I looked at my blog today and saw over 4000 hits from 67 countries. That, too, is amazing. Is it possible I encourage or inspire while others are encouraging me? I hope so. It's also fun to pop on every morning and see what countries or cities have been to our blog. If you stop by the blog regularly, PLEASE drop me a line. I would so love to hear from you and hear your story. My email is macimiller@comcast.net

Thank you all again for your kindness and friendship and advice along the way. Best to all of you adopting. We are in this together and we have an incredible path ahead of us!

Weekly Inspiration

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Buddha

Good Bye Summer

For those of us in the US, today (Labor Day) signifies a day off. In 1894, the labor union decided workers needed a day off and made it a federal holiday. Personally, I think it was a fabulous idea! It's the last big weekend of summer, kids are going back to school, seems like a great time for a long weekend. It's a time, traditionally, for end of summer parties, BBQ's, and time with family and friends. We had a fun social schedule this weekend with lots of places to go and friends to see. Friday night was date night in - just the two of us. Sat we had my friend Susan and her boyfriend over for dinner. Sunday we had a blast at our good friends Charlsey & John's pool party. I think I carried their precious daughter Ava around for 2 hours. She was so cute I didn't want to put her down! Then today we headed over to my brothers for a cook-out and great visit with the family. We always have fun with them and I especially love seeing my nephews. Relaxing, fun weekend.

It's been a great summer for seeing friends and family. We figured we better go out and do it now before we have a toddler at home. Still, with summer coming to an end I don't find myself like many - longing for more hot lazy days. On the contrary, fall is one of my favorite seasons. Mother Nature takes care of all the landscaping and the crisp cool mornings make it perfect for a power walk (or jog if I am feeling particularly motivated). It's the time of the year we got married, the time we settled on and moved into our house, both of our birthdays, and a few family birthdays, too. This year autumn may bring even more magic than most years...news from Thailand. Maybe, just maybe, we will get our referral this fall. I don't know why but we are holding onto the hope that we will hear something by the end of the year. Prayers said, fingers crossed. :)

Pictures above are from the garden and yard this summer. Love the one with Chloe (our dog) just sitting there watching the deer crossing through the yard.

The Business of Parenting

I gotta tell you, I feel good today. While it wasn't easy to tackle that first attachment book, I feel better prepared and my romantic idea of adoption is being replaced by an informed, mature parenting outlook. I am thinking positive, but understanding that my daughter may have special needs and concerns. I feel more armed and ready to handle anything she may need from us. Started another book written by an adult adoptee "Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew". Really good so far. Some is common sense to me, but there is MUCH to gain from the adoptee's perspective.

I think of all this as getting down to the business of parenting. Of course, this is just what I THINK is the business of parenting since I am a complete newbie. Surely, there will be many things we will learn by experience and our interactions with our daughter. We are planning to move to FL in the next year or so, but not until our daughter is home awhile and adjusted. Then we will visit FL a few times and let her see her new room before making the jump.

So, for now, I am gathering information for both states. I have talked to and found two amazing Pre-K Montessori schools. LOVE the Montessori platform! One down the road from our PA house (in case we are still here) and one 5 minutes from the development in Boca that we like. Both teachers are warm and wonderful, taking the time to talk to me for nearly an hour. Both schools have a diverse group of kids including others that were adopted and of varied ethnicity. They are used to language barriers (should there be any). They promote individuality and let the child work at his or her pace. They teach culture, art, music, character building, daily living, peace, and kindess along with the regular academics. It couldn't be more perfect for what we want for our daughter. I am so happy to have found these loving, family style schools.

I am also finding adoption doctors and pediatricians in both locations. Thrilled to have CHOP (Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia) in our backyard. They are excellent and have a whole International Adoption Health Center. Registered with them already and had a nice talk with the director. Still researching the docs in FL, but got some great suggestions from fellow adoptive Mom's off the FL adopt groups. Going to add to my list all the support groups I find or have found in each city, Mommy & Me yoga, and in FL I found a real loving swim class for toddlers.

Come on home, Ruby! We're ready!

Weekly Inspiration

Great Family Weekend

What a weekend we had! Drove my Mom and brother David to the beach. It was SO nice! Great weather, nice walks & talks. Really such a great time. So great to see my Mom relaxing and enjoying herself so much. And Dave did such a good job! So proud of him. He is autistic and has made such progress through the years. I just love him to death. So cute! Jeff got back from his business trip too late to go with us, but he got to spend some good quality time with his family, too. His cousin Doug had a party and I understand a great time was had by all. Too bad I had already booked the trip for the same weekend. By the time I realized they were the same weekend, it was too late. Next year we will have to plan ahead. We'll want to take our daughter to BOTH outings!

As you can tell, I am having fun playing with my iPhoto and iPages programs. I have been taking classes at the Apple store once a week and learning to do all kinds of fun things. Not a pro yet, but maybe with more practice! My first collage (the children below) was fun to do. And gosh, how cute are they? I did a google search for images of Thai children and Asian children and found so many beautiful faces it was hard to choose! Can't wait till I can put my own beautiful baby's pics together! Maybe I will be real good at it by then. :) Going to get a camcorder soon and learn how to make movies next. If you double click on the collages you can view them bigger.

Beautiful Children

While browsing the internet for entirely too long today, I found all these wonderful photos of Thai children. Couldn't resist making a collage of them!

Thank God for Friends!

Sherry, Me, Kimi, Tammy, & Elizabeth

Kimi, Tammy, & Sherry looking at Ruby's pictures.

Been riding the roller coaster of emotions lately. Reading a pretty heavy book on attachment which is feeding those emotions. It's a very good, informative book (Becoming a Family by Lark Eshleman, PhD) and I'm learning some good tips, but I am also not sleeping so well. I so ache to hold my daughter and let her know I am here and she will never be without a mother again. That it will be okay and we will work through any fears or issues she has. That we will be there for her through thick and thin and love her with all our hearts! In general, I try to stay upbeat and positive about the whole thing. I know we will bring her home when it is meant to be. But sometimes -try as I might - the feelings just take me over. The busy work and distractions help, but my thoughts are never far from that beautiful little girl in Thailand that stole my heart. When will I see her? Hold her? Is she walking yet? Talking? Some days it's just so hard to not know.

Anyway, I REALLY needed a little pick-me-up this week. Thank God for my friends! Took a train up to NYC today to have lunch with four of my very best friends. We've shared so much over the years. Sometimes it is a great effort to get all of us in the city at the same time as schedules are crazy and involve kids, work, travel, and a few of us in different locations. Still, we are all always glad we made the effort. It was such a beautiful sunny day and we caught up over a nice leisurely 3 hour lunch at Bryant Park. Really a perfect afternoon with some wonderful friends. Thanks, girls! I really needed that! Had a great lunch with Kimi last week, too, and a fun, nice long lunch with my dear friend Susan the week before. We had dinner with our great friends Charlsey & John for her birthday a couple weeks ago, too. I feel so lucky to have such good friends and more time lately to see everyone!

Weekly Inspiration

Love is the golden thread that ties our hearts and souls together.

Mother Theresa

Thai Mother's Day

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all those Mom's out there! I am late in posting this, but Thai's celebrate Mother's Day on the August 12th, the Queen of Thailand's Birthday. The Queen is very well loved and considered to be the Mother of all Thai people.To quote a fellow adoptive Mom and blogger - since we have to wait so long for our chance at Motherhood, there is no reason we shouldn't celebrate it twice! I couldn't agree more!

Weekly Inspiration

Giving thanks is the expression of gratefulness and faith in God. It is the very opposite of fear or complaining. Giving of thanks expresses appreciation for what God has done, what He has promised, and the confidence that He is always with us, guiding our life.

A Room Fit For A Queen

...or just a little Thai Princess!

Well, here it is! Our daughter's room is complete! Butterflies & flowers were hung. The rug laid down. Her name is on the wall. Oh, yea, now might be a good time to tell those of you that don't know that we decided her name will be Ruby! We will have "Ruby Kate" as a first name (Kate comes from my beautiful Gram that passed away last year) and then add her Thai name as a middle name. Throw our last name in there and you have one rather long name! That's okay, it makes it all the more Thai, as their names tend to be a little longer and then they have a "short name" or nickname.

It feels so good to walk in her room and see where she will be sleeping. Sometimes I go up there and just look through her things and think about her. The other day Jeff came in and saw me and was like, yea, I was just in here too. We can't wait to bring her home. Then it really WILL be a fairy tale room.

Singing For My Baby

Well, I went into the studio yesterday to record songs for our angel. We did 5 songs, both lullabies and sweet kids songs. They are:

1. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star/ABC Song

2. Somewhere Over The Rainbow

3. Baby Mine

4. Hush-A-Bye Baby (Rock-A-Bye Baby)

5. Brahms Lullaby

It was both fun to be in the studio creating again and emotional to be singing songs I knew I'd be sending to our daughter in Thailand. My uncle (Bob Kimmel) is a producer and really did such a great job with the recording and mix. He called in a friend - a brilliant piano player, George Mesterhazy - to accompany me. George is an incredible musician and a super nice guy to boot! He came into the project with excitement and all these great ideas, as if we were producing a major record not just a Mom's personal CD for daughter. Together, we created some real magic. I had her picture in front of me as I sang and it was sometimes hard to not get choked up looking into those big brown eyes. We did everything in one take (to save time and money) so it is surely not my best vocal performance. It is my most heartfelt, though. I am just hoping that enough love and feeling got across that maybe, just maybe, she will feel it when she hears it.

Baby Dreams

For the last couple days I have had dreams about our girl. In one we were walking through the airport - the three of us - and I stopped at a little shop to get her a doll. I can even remember what it looked like. A little blond baby doll in a kneeling position (like maybe in prayer). I guess I took too long because I missed the flight. I had to get on a boat, helicopter, and plane to catch up to them and saw my Uncle Mike & Aunt Sophie and a few other friends and relatives who helped me along the way. But all the while I wasn't worried. She was safe with Daddy and I knew she was just a short flight away till I would hold her in my arms.

The second dream was the next day. We got up very early to hold a yard sale. By the afternoon, we were exhausted so I laid down to take a nap. I'm not usually a napper, but this time I drifted off into a deep sleep. I can't remember all the details of that dream, but I know she was there. I was singing to her and we both felt the happiest, most peaceful feeling. I woke up with the Brahms lullaby in my head and was humming it for hours!

Good dreams. Baby is in our hearts and on our minds. I feel like a little Angel is watching over her and keeping her safe and sound until we get there. Soon it WILL be just a short flight until she is in our arms and MY, will lullabies be sung!

Happy Mail Day!

Or I should say, Happy Mail & Delivery Day! We just got our letter of approval form I797C back from the USCIS today! One more baby step closer to our girl! Then we got THIS:

The sweetest gift from our friends Deb & Michael! A beautiful little hand painted plaque about adoption. How incredibly thoughtful! We were really touched and absolutely love it! An hour later UPS shows up with the roman shades from PBK we ordered for the nursery and another box of pretty nylon butterlies and flowers I found on a website called www.bugs-n-blooms.com. So cute! Our angel's room is almost complete!

Weekly Inspiration

To love and honor and respect each other. To find friends that accept you as you are. To have the great honor of loving a child and taking care of him or her. To make a difference. To care deeply for others. To find your soulmate. To love truly. These are all our gifts in this lifetime. Today, let's take time to be thankful.

It Even Smells Pink!

Jeff painted the whole nursery in my absence! I was only gone for 2 days, but the difference is incredible. Amazing what a little paint can do! There was just a little touching up left and the heater base boards and we worked on the room all day Sunday from late morning till about midnight. We painted, cleaned it top to bottom, moved things around, washed and ironed all the linens for the crib and queen bed and put it all together. It looks so cute! We are going to sleep in the queen ourselves (when she gets home) for a few months until she gets used to her new room. The bed sits directly across from the crib so she will be able to see us when she wakes up and vice/verse.

We got a nice crib mattress (Nature-Pedic) that's organic and chemical free and zero VOC paint so I feel we did pretty good. In the middle of all this I was vaccuming and had recently put a new deodorizer in the back filter. It's some sort of berry smell. Jeff's so cute. He walks in and says, WOW. It even SMELLS pink in here! That was our big laugh of the day. It really is pretty and pink in there. Now we just need our little angel to be in it.

Here we are, hard at work...

Painting in my pj's.

The hubby tearing down the old bed frame.

Grandma Donna

My Mom is the sweetest thing. I was feeling under the weather and left her a message explaining that is why I didn't call her back sooner. Well, the next morning she called to say she had taken off work, packed her bags, and was coming down to "take care of her baby". Baby. Yea, she meant me. Even though I told her I was just fine she insisted on coming down and being by my side. In an instant it took me back to all the MANY times she was by my side as a child. For every bump and bruise and cold and flu. For hurt feelings and growing pains - for everything -she was there. She taught me to believe in myself and made me the person I am. And now here I am at almost (choke) 40 and she is still by my side. I'm pretty lucky and our little girl is going to be, too. My Mom is SO excited about her new Grandaughter. She loves her already. We spent the whole day talking and looking through the baby's things and catching up. It was the best "sick day" I've ever had. (I am fine BTW). Thanks, Mom! Love You!

The above pics are her reaction to seeing the baby's pics and video for the first time. Priceless!