A Little Hope

We got an email from Wacap tonight. Boy, did I need some news today! Went Christmas shopping and it was so depressing to see one cute kid/toy/dress/doll/santa/stocking/teddy bear after another and know my daughter wouldn't know any of that merriment this year. I wondered what my baby was doing at that moment? What would she be doing over the holiday? Everything reminds me of her. Everything makes we want to hold her in my arms and tell her it's okay. Even though my head knows there is an end to this wait, some days my heart just does not get the memo! It feels like maybe I am dreaming all this up and somehow the referral will never come.

I just could not shake the blues today so Jeff insisted that we get out and go shopping. Imagine ME having to be drug out of the house to go shopping! That should tell you something. Well, we shopped a bit then took a break. Went to dinner, and then went back to finish our Christmas shopping. (Nearly done!) By the time we had dinner and I started to perk up a bit. We got some really cute stuff for all the kids in the family. Jeff and I had a really great talk at dinner. It's amazing to me after all this time how we can have such great, deep conversation like we did about life, family, our daughter, etc. He's so great. Just as dinner was over he checked his Blackberry and saw we got an email from Wacap.

She said that the DSDW is working hard on Wacap's cases (yay!) and they should have the next batch of referrals in 4-6 weeks. OMG, 4-6 weeks! That is mid to end of January! Yes, I know you can all add, but I had to say it out loud. It's funny because last week I was bummed to hear Jan instead of December, but tonight I am elated just to know it is coming! I was beginning to wonder if Jan would turn into Feb and the wait would go on and on. Now I know I shouldn't get too excited (well, okay, too late for that) but I am! She doesn't know for sure if we will actually be in that next batch. She won't know until she actually has them in hand. But I have to believe we will since she said we were next in line last month. Gosh, do I dare to hope? Can't it really be possible? It HAS to be. (Denial works for me, LOL, so I'm going with it)...

Okay now say it with me: I am not dreaming. Our referral is coming soon!