Last night I wrote a letter to my baby. I didn't want to post it on here. I wanted it to be my personal words just for her to read someday. I confessed how I say good morning to her every night and good night every morning. I wondered out loud if she has received her care package yet and seen our pictures. She's so young and yet on some level I hope she knows we exist. I want to believe they have the CD I sent and she hears my voice singing to her with all my heart. Sometimes the tunes randomly pop into my head and I love to fantasize that maybe she is on the other side of the globe listening to them at the exact same time. I pray she sees our photos and is interested and wondering who these people are called Mommy & Daddy. I hope she looks at the pics (and hears the bark and meow) of our cat and dog and is amused or at least curious. Maybe she holds the little blankie and it gives her some comfort. Maybe she plays with the doll or pink stuffed doggie and it gives her some laughter or joy. I like to think that it does. It helps me to sleep knowing that maybe, just maybe, it does.
I wrote on and on and expressed so many things that I want her to know someday and it felt so good to get it off my chest. I prayed hard that somehow she would know she was loved. I went to sleep in confidence that it would be taken care of and slept deeply. Today, I couldn't stop singing. All day just a-humming or singing along. I was in the happiest mood and I couldn't even quite put my finger on why. I guess I just have renewed faith. I feel connected to her and feel like my prayers were answered. I released it to the Universe and feel she's going to be okay. We are going to be okay. And we are all going to be together soon.
Love is a beautiful thing and does miraculous things. It can move mountains and travel across the globe and touch a life. I believe in peace and love and all things good. I believe Thailand will soon be at peace again and that I needn't worry. And I believe that our beautiful daughter will soon be home with us. Having hope and something to believe in is a very good thing.
5 comments:
So sweet! It won't be long until you can hold her in your arms and tell her everything in person!!
Loved the Thanksgiving poem, by the way!
So glad you were able to reach out to your daughter this way! Writing is a wonderful release.
I do think God prepares our children's hearts while we wait to bring them home. I do know that your daughter will love you!! She will love having you sing to her, read to her, dress her, and be her mother. You will be her one constant (and Jeff too), and she will know that you were put on this earth to be hers!!
Thank you all for the wonderful comments. Carey, yours was especially nice. I really so appreciate all of your kind words and support. We will all soon have our beautiful children home and all this waiting will be a distant memory.
I'm so grateful for all the new friends I have made along the way!
Peace & Love, Jen
Jen, Writing is so cathartic! Keep singing. Ruby Kate will be home soon.
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