How Do You Explain

...how it feels to meet your brother and his wife for the first time? Well, at first it is weird. And cool. And you can't get the silly grin off your face. You have thought about all the things you want to say, but then you meet... and absolutely nothing comes to mind. Just the silly grin. We all stand in the entranceway for a minute. Thankfully, my brother Jason comes to the rescue with a funny joke. Then my long, lost brother John quickly jumps in with some quit wit of his own. Or was it the other way around? Can't remember. Me, I got nothing. Still smiling. A tad nervous. Snapping pictures and watching Mom who is also nervous, but BEAMING. I  love watching how happy she is and am proud of how she is holding it together and not spilling over with tears at this moment. I would have!

Jason cracks some champagne. He and Melissa have gone all out and prepared a 5 course feast for the occasion with a special reserve wine to go with each course. (Gotta love having a wine rep in the family!) So back to the champagne.... We toast to John who toasts to Mom and within minutes the slightly awkward first moments are gone and somehow it feels like we have always known each other. It helps that we all have been talking on the phone and emailing for the last month or so. The rest of the evening just gets better. John and Jason joke back and forth like old buds. Kellie (John's wife) and I totally hit it off. Mom and John head outside for a cigarette break here and there. The food was incredible and the conversation fun and lighthearted. No pressure or pretense. We are all letting the relationship unfold naturally and gradually. But the whole family was excited to get to know them and they were equally excited to know us. We laughed and talked and shared stories for hours. It was comfortable in a way maybe we all hoped for but weren't sure we could actually achieve on the first meeting. Really a great day into evening.

I find myself thinking of our little Ruby from time to time. Wondering if someday she will be so delighted to meet her birth family. How it will feel for her. I want to be with her at that moment if I can. I want her to know them or at least her birthmother and know that it is totally okay to have two families. We are her real family. And so are they. Adoption is a curious and complicated thing. But it is also a LOVE thing and THIS is what I know for sure...

The birthmother never stops loving that child no matter what the circumstance or how much time has past. The adoptive parents never see the relationship as not "real" for the heart sure can't tell the difference. No pregnancy could make their love more or less real. And family is family no matter how they become that way. My love for my child is no less than the love my brother Jase has for two his beautiful sons. My Mom's love for the child she has longed to meet is as real as anything she has ever known. My relationship with my sister in law or my husband's relationship with Jason (and now John) is like that of a sister or a brother. No name or blood or proof has to be present. Just the heart. Love knows no boundries and I can't wait to share with our daughter all of these great lessons and all of the amazing relations in her life. For all of us will have a hand in her future. The mother that gave her those amazing eyes and the mother that will gaze lovingly into them. The ones that gave her life and the ones that will show her all life has to offer. The family I hope she has someday that will further bond her with Thailand, and the big, loving family here that will love her with all of our hearts.

And speaking of our family, here are some shots from our big day...

Mom and John moments after meeting.

Jason giving a toast to John at dinner. I love the look on Mom's face. Like, oh geez, what is he going to say? But Jason is just a natural and gives us all a good laugh. 

Here is John, Kellie, Anthony, Britney (hidden) and Jeff all listening to Jason's speech.

Cute couple Britney and Anthony.

Little Ryan being an angel. He LOVES Britney!

Cute shot of Jason and Melissa. Poor Melissa had to run Ryan to the hospital earlier that day for his knee. He fell and skinned it the day before and was walking around limping like a little old man. So funny cause she rushed him to the emergency room to make sure he didn't have a fracture or anything and they told her he had a severe case of melodrama. LOL! "Miraculously" he was able to walk again by the next day.

John and Jason catching up outside. Although they look serious here, they both have the same great sense of humor and kept us smiling all day.

Kellie and I getting to know each other. She is such a nice person!

Jason proudly displaying a mammoth pile of steak. Not a meat eater myself, but evidently the Kobe beef was incredible. He made some seared tuna earlier and I got a big piece since I don't do steak. It was YUMMY!

The 3 of us.

John and Mom on a ciggy break.

Melissa and I having a nice time. And miracle of miracles, the sun came out that day after weeks of non-stop rain. I think it was a sign. :-)

And I think to myself...what a wonderful world.