Monday, July 27, 2009

Panic Mode

Okay, after an incredible week of fun and girlie-ness (more on this later) I am back to reality. THIS IS CRUNCH TIME. I have anywhere between 2 weeks and one month to pack 3 weeks worth of clothes and gifts, finish reading all those parenting and adoption books I haven't gotten to yet, lock-down anything in the house that is not already, learn a LOT more Thai, drop 10 lbs, strengthen arms and back,...and oh, yea, drop any bad habit I have ever had in the hopes of being a good example to my daughter! Yikes!  She is used to calm, soft spoken people and I am, well, a bit excitable, loud and very chatty at times.  Okay, a LOT of the time! My Mom calls me the Energizer Bunny. LOL, while that is great for getting things done, how do I channel all this energy into a cool, calm, laid back demeanor as to not panic my child when I am panicked? I wouldn't exactly call myself laid back. I squeal when I see a big bug. I will let out a big yelp if happy and excited about something. Heck, I will even squeal with delight over a dress or a great find at the mall! Goodness, I'm gonna scare the poor child! I am also nervous about staying still enough when she is sleeping between us. I know, that is a silly one, but I toss and turn a lot. Why didn't I drop these habits while waiting this whole time??? So yes, this morning I am a bit panicked. About what I have to do and how I'll be as a parent and everything in between. I want to be the best mom ever for Ruby. I want to be as prepared as possible. But inevitably, I will forget something or make some mistakes. I guess you can't prevent that entirely.

We looked at the calendar last night and realized that if we were by some chance going to be at the Aug. 19th, we'd be leaving in two weeks! Now I know that it is much more likely to be September, but, hey, you never know! If they offer it to us, we both agree we'd want to jump on it and go immediately! Can you imagine? We could be holding her in just a few weeks? It's too amazing for words and thankfully, my happiness is even greater than my worry. In fact, I keep going back and forth between total giddiness and full panic mode. I am hoping this is normal. :-)

In general, I feel like we are pretty ready. I mean the house and her room are done. Playroom is started and we just have to hang some new curtains and get some kids art in there. The carpet for my office comes in this week and Jeff spent half the day yesterday re-wiring the play room so all the TV wires are safely and neatly hidden from curious fingers. Toy boxes are put together with some toys already in there ready for play. Going to keep some hidden in the closet upstairs as to not over-load her with stuff. Figure they will also be good to pull out later when she's having a meltdown. I have given this all much thought. Too much, I am sure, which is one of the many habits I have (over-thinking) that I wish I could drop!

We looked online for hours last night. Found some good deals and some not so good deals. Looks like we'll spend between $3500-4500 on flights. Thai airways is awesome and we'd like to fly that. They have a direct flight from LA and the tickets are changeable. I flew them once before and they have such great service. We wouldn't have to worry about Ruby's visa cause we'd go directly from Bangkok to LA on the way home AND wouldn't have to worry if we needed to stay longer. BUT, Korean airlines are a good bit cheaper. So we're not sure what to do yet. Just being able to check out the proposed dates for both August and September is soooo exciting! We have all the travel costs broken down and while it's going to be a lot, it's do-able. 

So a lot on my mind today. Better get off the computer and get moving! I know the best solution for my stress is to MOVE and check things off that to do list! We have a conference call with Kate at 5pm to go over the travel pack. Panicked or not, it is truly amazing to be at this stage! Going to try to tackle all I can head-on today and let the rest roll off my shoulders. Wish me luck! :-)

9 comments:

Jessica said...

Jen, You are/will continue to be a wonderful mother. I'm hoping this instinct thing everyone is always talking about kicks in when we meet our kids. At least that's what I'm banking on! Happy planning and packing.

And oh, yes, by all means, Thai Airways. (Their partner airlines is United, so you can use their points to fly here in the US too.)

Kam said...

Yay!!!! So happy to read all of this! Now take a deep breath! You're going to be great! It's a huge learning curve we're all on and thankfully, our kids will love us through it all! No parent is perfect! And just the energy and worry you are putting into all of this speaks volumes of not only your love for Ruby but also your willingness to parent well.

Can't wait to hear about your travel call! Ours lasted an hour and a half! lol!

Chris and Terri said...

It's amazing to see you at this point! I remember thinking I knew it all when Matt came into our life! I was not quite right! LOL - But the best intentions gone wrong make the greatest stories later.

One thing is certain, you WILL be fine. I remember my aunt asking me when I became so patient... my response was the day I became a parent (and not a minute before) ;) Fortunately, that quality does get better with time.

Carey and Norman said...

Hi Jen,

I'm so very excited that you are finally planning for your travels to bring Miss Ruby home. I know you are still uncertain if it will be August or September, but either are just right around the corner. I think of you often and am so glad that you are almost on the home stretch of your adoption journey! I cannot wait to see photos of Ruby. I'm also so thankful that God has answered prayers as Miss Ruby's hearing and speech is much better than you anticipated! Thank the Lord!

On another note, we have been pre-approved to adopt a boy 17 months in China with WACAP. He has a congenital heart defect (will need open heart surgery). It will be early 2010 before we are able to bring him home, but we are excited to finally be moving forward adopting a little boy for our family!

Blessings,

Carey

dawn said...

Oh gawd I am panicking right along with you now.

Your Mummy-ness ( yes I did just make up a word) is palpable. Oh I just wish the phone would ring and you could leave. I get so excited as I watch your blog download now because I know that at any moment I could be reading "the news"

rosemary said...

Thai airways is wonderful I always fly them when I can. Otherwise I fly Cathay, which is also amazing! I had a BAD experience on Korean once but I think Robin and Kyle used them and really liked it.

You are going to get everything done in perfect timing! Plus I just know it's amazing to be this close to the big day. Are you having trouble sleeping b/c you're so excited? I couldn't sleep for like a month before my wedding and I'm afraid that is going to happen again before we travel!

christina said...

did you even have 10 lbs you could afford to lose? When I met you you seemed pretty lithe to me.

Nesting, it's a nice frenetic feeling isn't it?

Megan said...

Yes, it is normal! And you will be a fantastic Mom!! Being concerned enough to want to be the best Mom shows so much about you as a parent. So happy for you guys being so close to bringing Ruby home!

Blessings~

Pink Velvet Mommy said...

you are going to be a great mom...just the fact that you are already thinking about toys, tv, being green etc... is much further down the road to good parenting than most.
You will learn to be flexible. I would not say I am the most flexible and I am certainly loud and excitable, Hayden and I have learned to adjust to both qualities. I have become more flexible and she has gotten and accepted the loud factor.

I can't wait to see that first picture of you as a family of 3!!!