Panic Mode

Okay, after an incredible week of fun and girlie-ness (more on this later) I am back to reality. THIS IS CRUNCH TIME. I have anywhere between 2 weeks and one month to pack 3 weeks worth of clothes and gifts, finish reading all those parenting and adoption books I haven't gotten to yet, lock-down anything in the house that is not already, learn a LOT more Thai, drop 10 lbs, strengthen arms and back,...and oh, yea, drop any bad habit I have ever had in the hopes of being a good example to my daughter! Yikes!  She is used to calm, soft spoken people and I am, well, a bit excitable, loud and very chatty at times.  Okay, a LOT of the time! My Mom calls me the Energizer Bunny. LOL, while that is great for getting things done, how do I channel all this energy into a cool, calm, laid back demeanor as to not panic my child when I am panicked? I wouldn't exactly call myself laid back. I squeal when I see a big bug. I will let out a big yelp if happy and excited about something. Heck, I will even squeal with delight over a dress or a great find at the mall! Goodness, I'm gonna scare the poor child! I am also nervous about staying still enough when she is sleeping between us. I know, that is a silly one, but I toss and turn a lot. Why didn't I drop these habits while waiting this whole time??? So yes, this morning I am a bit panicked. About what I have to do and how I'll be as a parent and everything in between. I want to be the best mom ever for Ruby. I want to be as prepared as possible. But inevitably, I will forget something or make some mistakes. I guess you can't prevent that entirely.

We looked at the calendar last night and realized that if we were by some chance going to be at the Aug. 19th, we'd be leaving in two weeks! Now I know that it is much more likely to be September, but, hey, you never know! If they offer it to us, we both agree we'd want to jump on it and go immediately! Can you imagine? We could be holding her in just a few weeks? It's too amazing for words and thankfully, my happiness is even greater than my worry. In fact, I keep going back and forth between total giddiness and full panic mode. I am hoping this is normal. :-)

In general, I feel like we are pretty ready. I mean the house and her room are done. Playroom is started and we just have to hang some new curtains and get some kids art in there. The carpet for my office comes in this week and Jeff spent half the day yesterday re-wiring the play room so all the TV wires are safely and neatly hidden from curious fingers. Toy boxes are put together with some toys already in there ready for play. Going to keep some hidden in the closet upstairs as to not over-load her with stuff. Figure they will also be good to pull out later when she's having a meltdown. I have given this all much thought. Too much, I am sure, which is one of the many habits I have (over-thinking) that I wish I could drop!

We looked online for hours last night. Found some good deals and some not so good deals. Looks like we'll spend between $3500-4500 on flights. Thai airways is awesome and we'd like to fly that. They have a direct flight from LA and the tickets are changeable. I flew them once before and they have such great service. We wouldn't have to worry about Ruby's visa cause we'd go directly from Bangkok to LA on the way home AND wouldn't have to worry if we needed to stay longer. BUT, Korean airlines are a good bit cheaper. So we're not sure what to do yet. Just being able to check out the proposed dates for both August and September is soooo exciting! We have all the travel costs broken down and while it's going to be a lot, it's do-able. 

So a lot on my mind today. Better get off the computer and get moving! I know the best solution for my stress is to MOVE and check things off that to do list! We have a conference call with Kate at 5pm to go over the travel pack. Panicked or not, it is truly amazing to be at this stage! Going to try to tackle all I can head-on today and let the rest roll off my shoulders. Wish me luck! :-)