Fantasy World

In my fantasy, I wake up at 7 am. Maybe earlier. I take a long, hot shower, deep condition my hair, and have time to blow it out. I put on some make-up, pick out a nice outfit, and go downstairs to tidy up the place. I do the dishes and throw in a load of laundry. I set the table for breakfast, I plan my day and plan my meals. The house looks lovely and perfect and is freshly decorated for Spring. Fresh flowers on each table. By the time Ruby gets up I have had my Starbucks and am armed and ready to start my day with grace and confidence. Yes, this is my fantasy.

Not that I haven't ever had mornings like that. (Minus the house looking perfect and already decorated for Spring). Okay, and the meal planning. Some mornings I am up and "together". But not lately. Instead we are up several times in the night so I cling on to every last minute of sleep I can get till she is up. I wake up groggy, get Ruby bathed, dressed, and ready, then throw my hair in a pony and take a 5 minute shower. We rush downstairs to eat and go to whatever class we have that day. This week I look like "THAT" mom. The one I swore I would never be. Little to no make-up, looking tired and disheveled and late to any morning event we have. We are both sleepy yet somehow Ruby manages to be charming, happy, and utterly adorable under these conditions. Me, not so much! By nap time I am exhausted and yet wired. I want to sleep, but the house is calling. Some days I have ignored that call and plopped myself in front of the computer or tv instead because I am just too dang tired to do much else. When Ruby is up I want to be with her. She has been more needing of me the last 2 weeks and I don't want to resort to sticking her in front of the tv just so I can get work done. She already watches more than I'd like. Not sure if it is nightmares or the giardia again or what but something has changed. She had been doing so well on the homeopathic remedies, sleeping great, and feeling great. Starting the remedies up again for 2 weeks and hoping it will help her sleep. Will restest for Giardia next week, too, just to make sure that is not the issue. Sweet little thing. How I hate to see her crying in the night. I feel so helpless that I can't do anything but reassure her that we are there. One night she hopped out of her crib and ran to my arms. She's done that before, but this time she held on to me so tight. We laid like that for nearly an hour. Her little head right on my heart. Those are the moments you could hold on to forever and the reasons you plug along with a smile on your face, even when exhausted.

So the house waits. Some days I do clean during her nap, but it just scratches the surface. I need a maid. A 5 bedroom, 3 story farmhouse was not meant to be cleaned alone! Jeff helps a lot around here and cooks often, but he has been swamped with work lately. Overwhelmed, I called for back up...Mom to the rescue! I called her Thursday afternoon and by that evening she was here. Hooray! Ruby LOVES her and we had such a nice visit. Just having another person here to keep Ruby company so I could clean up made such a HUGE difference. She gets quality time with Grandma and I get some time to get caught up. I got 6 loads of laundry done, the downstairs back in order, and some adult conversation to boot! Low and behold, we even all got some sleep last night! I am still fantasizing about a maid, new spring sheets, a home made quiche in the oven, more sleep, and warm weather. But for today, I have enough. Although my home and myself are not looking picture perfect, both are a bit better (okay, really the house is) thanks to a helping hand. I have a beautiful little girl that is the light of my life, a hard working hubby, and wonderful mom that was a total lifesaver this weekend. Thanks Mom!!! We love you!!!