It's Just The Little Things

...that get to me. Like the toy section of Target. Or the baby department of Macy's. Okay, any department store. An adorable child walking hand in hand with her parents in the park. Spotting a family that appears to have an adopted child (that I have to resist the urge to chase down and say, HI! We are adopting too!) Or a trip to the grocery store. Yes, the grocery store.
It's almost shameful that I could let it get me down on such a beautiful day. It was a crisp-yet-sunny, perfect autumn day. We got up, had breakfast together, then took the dog for a long walk in the park. It's a great park with lots of dogs and friendly faces and we happily chatted through 3.3 miles. We then did something we rarely have time to do together: grocery shop. Years ago before busy schedules we always did our grocery shopping together. I don't know why, but I kind-of like having him along as we leisurely walk down the aisles and stock up. I mean, I REALLY don't know why, since he insists on getting way too many snacks and stuff loaded with sugar and hydrogenated oils that I would never let hit the cart! (ha ha, good practice for a toddler!) Anyway, there we are just a-trucking along down the aisles and it hits me: THE BABY AISLE. Questions form in my mind as easily as the tears well up in my eyes as I spot the formula and baby food. What is she eating? Does she have a few more teeth yet? I wonder what she will eat by the time we get her and what will she like? Then there are the diapers, the wipes, the butt paste, the bath stuff, THE QUESTIONS. Should I buy some? Stock up? Will she still be in diapers or do they potty train earlier there? I picture doing the yuckiest of jobs and it too makes me want to cry - just picturing the bonding time while laying her down on the table and sharing some giggles before cleaning her all up and getting her ready to go out somewhere. (Geez, you KNOW I am ready for motherhood when I am even anticipating that!) I quickly pull it together and make a b-line for the next row. But then there are all the Halloween goodies. And dolls and toys on the way the check out counter. Completely unaware of my wondering mind, another mom casually strolls by with her baby and groceries. It's just another ordinary day for her, I think to myself. (Sigh) I can't wait for that.

The rest of the day was fine and I am fine. It was a good day with the hubby. It's just the simple every day stuff that people don't really think about that much that gets to me sometimes. That ordinary routine stuff I want so much to do with my little girl.

(Above photo from www.babymermaidlanding.com featuring Kelsea Covers for grocery carts)