A Little Frazzled

We had our big Dr.'s appt Chop today. In typical Jen & Jeff fashion, we were late. We got up at 6 am and left at 7 for our 8 am appt. in the city. Should have left a good half hour to hour earlier. We might have made it or been just a few minutes late, but there was an accident on 95 and our exit was actually CLOSED, therefore causing us to get off another exit, get lost (Nav wasn't working, of course) and we missed Ruby's audiology appt. entirely. In the meantime, the poor kid got car sick and vomited all over herself, her new coat, her outfit and her car seat. Poor sweet thing. I cleaned her all up with the plethora of wipes in my bag and stuck them in one of the extra ziplocks I always carry. I could almost pat myself on the back for having those things, except I forgot the most important thing that every parent told me you always have to have: an extra change of clothes! I forgot. Ugg. I swear I am going to get it all together soon, but I'm so tired I keep forgetting things! So I just washed her down the best I could with the wipes till we got there (a smelly 1/2 hour of traffic later) and then washed her and I in the bathroom. She was so cute though. Looked at me a little fearful at first when she got sick. As if, uh-oh. She looks to me for approval all the time whether it is something good, funny, or indifferent. As soon as she saw the look in my eyes and heard me say oh, honey, it's okay, she just gave me the sweetest smile like okay, I'm better now! She is so darn sweet. Such a little love it takes my breath away! She was an angel at the appt and they just loved her. We were actually early for our 2nd appt. with the adoption specialist. Ruby is quite the charmer and played all the stacking games and showed off for the therapists. Even winked for them which Daddy taught her and is hilarious. Gotta get that on video!

As for CHOP, I was not entirely impressed. It's a kids hospital and there were no toys in the waiting room, for one. The Dr. was nice and the occupational therapists were great, but we were not in total agreement with the Dr. on a few things and she seemed to not listen to what we were telling her. For one, she was going entirely on the the US growth chart and telling us Ruby was so underweight and we needed to feed her more fat. She suggested more meat, butter, ice cream, and whole milk. What? How can a doctor actually recommend these things? I am baffled. Meat, okay. Whole milk, maybe if her stomach can take it. But butter? Ruby is not underweight according to the Thai growth chart and yet she completely disregarded that. She did lose her pot belly a bit since she's been home, though, so we definitely want to make sure she gets enough nutrition and gains a few lbs. I can't imagine how she lost .6 kg when she eats like a horse. She will literally eat almost as much pasta or rice as me!  We do fresh fruit and whole grain/sprout toast for breakfast, rice or pasta for lunch and dinner with veggies and/or chicken, and snacks in between each meal. I thought that was pretty good. We do dessert only once or twice a week and did give her some pumpkin pie. I just don't do it all the time and I just give a little bit. The doctor told me to give her whole milk after I told her that she seemed to not take dairy well. When I told her we give her lots of juice and she said that was "junk". Okay...what??? I don't give her the commercial sugar loaded brands! We give her fresh, organic juice! How is that not good? Clearly, I missed something! She recommends Flintstones vitamins which have aspartame, dyes, colors, and preservatives in them! I was really surprised. I told her we were happy with the vitamins she has and assured her they had zinc which she felt Ruby needed more of for her skin. She told me we needed a pro-biotic for her to be more regular after I told her how regular she is. So I asked her again what was regular, and she described exactly what I had told her Ruby was doing. It was as if she was just asking and saying the routine stuff and didn't hear a word we said. So frustrating, cause I want to do all the right things for Ruby! I feel I am getting to know her so well and know what she needs and yet this doctor was telling me just the opposite. So now I am not so sure. She wants us to get $5000 worth of blood tests done - for many things she has already been tested for in Thailand. Another HIV, another TB test, and a ton of others. Is this normal? What have some of you adoptive parents experienced? What tests did you do and what did you feel unnecessary? This is a grey area for me. Our insurance will cover the tests but it just seems like so much for Ruby and not all of them needed. In many ways the appt went great. Maybe I was just overwhelmed with it all and hate to see Ruby do so much testing. I'd love to hear from some of the moms out there on this stuff. 

They felt Ruby was attaching very well and said just to try to avoid her hugging and running to random people. She did this once at Target and again to at the Dr.'s office so they said besides Grandparents to make sure no one feeds her, holds her, or hugs her back - only us for another couple months or so until she is even more securely attached. Still, they thought she was doing great. Her motor skills are doing good but we need to work on more climbing and balancing so I am joining a Mommy and Me somersault & self esteem class next week at my local Little Gym. Looks so cute! I am looking forward to that! With speech and language she is at about a 18-24 month level, which at 30 months and considering her time at the orphanage, isn't too far behind. They feel she learned a lot with us already and expect her to catch up in the coming months. We do too. They recommend speech therapy which we agree with and we are gonna check into that next week. Still have to go to get the blood work done and the vaccines at our local doctor. That appt. is next week.

 I have to admit that just when I feel I got it all together and we are settling in, I start to feel overwhelmed and like I haven't done enough or second guessing if I am doing the right things.  Anyone else ever feel like this? I am only letting Ruby watch an hour or 2 of TV (Baby Einstein and Sesame street) in the am - but not every day - and an hour at night to bring her down a bit - like the Wonder Pets or a Disney movie. The Dr. told me this is way too much and I feel so stupid cause I should have known this. She said a half hour a day is more than enough and that studies show kids don't learn that much from TV - even Baby Einstein. Of course, I knew that interaction with us was the most important, but she picked up a few things from her Baby Einstein video already so I don't totally agree with her. I also bought all these great California Baby Organic products for her and it's making her exzema worse not better. I had all these grand ideas about how I was going parent. I researched far and wide and am bummed to see I bought all the wrong products and frustrated that I can't relieve the poor things itching. She is waking up in the night, scratching like mad. I so wish I could give her some comfort! Was hoping someone would give me more of a solution that "give her less baths". My friend Kimi told me to get Vanicream so I'm going to get that today. Bought Aveeno and will start using that today also. Has anyone used a dandruff shampoo on their child more than once a week? Once a week is really not doing enough for her.

I had hoped to be so on top of things, plan my menus, make home cooked meals every day, and be super mom, but it is harder than I thought! Not hard to parent Ruby. She's an awesome kid and so easy most of the time. I love every second with her! But hard to get or stay organized, keep up with the laundry, keep the house cleaned, make meals, and remember everything and keep things fun and stimulating all at the same time...especially when I am tired a lot. It was easy in Thailand because we were at a hotel, had room service, housekeeping, and my hubby. He helps a lot around the house and with Ruby, but somebody's got to work and pay the bills! He is torn between wanting to be with her and trying to get back into the swing of things with his company. I am really admiring my amazing mother more than ever right now, having raised 3 kids on her own! How did you do it, Mom?

On another subject...I miss my blogging buddies! Haven't had many comments or emails since I got back and I miss hearing from you! So sorry I haven't had time to check blogs! I am so out of touch with blog-land. It's been all about getting into our groove here at home with Ruby. Hopefully, I will get myself a bit more together this week and make some time. Hope you are all well and having a nice fall! Would love to hear from you and welcome any advice!